what do you do when a newborn just wont sleep?

[missslc]

so my son is 13 days old and has so far been pretty easy-sleeping for 3 hours between feeds at night and going back to sleep after feed/chanf and burping.

last night it took us till 4 am to get him to sleep for 2 hours. my hubby kept saying you have not fed him for long enough- feed him again- he goes to sleep at this point so has no idea how long i have been feeding him.

i think he is just being a baby and just does not feel sleepy so protests when we put him down.

he did 3 3 hour naps yesterday during day so am going to not repeat that today.

what do you do- just get up and stay awake till baby wants to sleep?

he is b feeding and sleeps in crib next to us.

i managed 3 hrs sleep last night so donr feel too bad- 2 nights with 2 hours sleep was pretty gruelling but then he slept so well for 2 nights in a row- i made the mistake of thinking- ahhhh we have an easy baby lucky us!!

scuse typing- baby on knee wide awake!!

I suspect he's feeding and feeding to get your supply increased. It will settle down again butu yes, basically, if they won't go down you just tough it out till they do. You cannot get a 2 week old baby in to any sort of routine and they don't know the difference between day and night. You can try and tweak their rhythms a bit but that's all. Just hang in there and understand you haven't done anything wrong. It's just how it is with a very, very young baby.

great- i thought as much- you just have to take on their routine.i did drop off to sleep last night but am so paranoid that i could smother him, as he really goes for the guzzle approach to feeding loosing himself somewhat in the flesh as it were-the thing is he actually refuses the breast after a while I do feed him on both when i can but when he refuses or falls asleep i can hardly shove my nipple down his throat.

i can understand that after 45 mins feeding he may well have had enough but my hubby keeps saying that i have not fed him on both barrels, one after the other and this is why he is not sleeping.He said if i fed him properly he would definatley sleep for 3 hours like the nights before.This causes a certain degree of irritation to rise up in my sleep deprived self! He is quite the lactation expert actually!?

i will just go with the baby's routine for now and get up if he is in the wide awake club- 3 hours sleep is more manageable than 2- there really is a big difference!!

so just to vindicate myself- it is not because i am not feeding him properly that he is did not sleep for 3 hours last night. He is just being a baby.

It takes them a while to settle (and sometimes they don't!). I know everyone says it but try to snooze in the daytime when he does so the lack at night doesn't hurt too much.

Also getting out during the day into the sunlight/fresh air and then night time feeds when he wakes up with dimmest light possible, no talking etc. Make it boring at night so he does the business and gets back to sleep.

Tell your husband that if doesn't like the way you are breastfeeding, to get his tits out and do it himself.

I remember one night with dd who was about 10 days old and she didn't want to sleep so 3am saw dh and I eating chocolate and crisps and reading. DD was quite happy and eventually went to sleep again.

Sounds normal and point your 'D' H in the direction of some of the breast feeding threads and tell him to shush.

Second or third the feeding lying down, you could also try doing a feed and rnning off to bed, leaving DH with the baby for a couple of hours so you can get some extra sleep?

Congratulations to OP

LOL at Morloth

I had quite a few nights of this with my two when tiny. DS was quite frequently up and lively at about 3am for a couple of hours (and so I just had to get up with him and go downstairs to let him wriggle about). (He'd always been up at that time before birth too so I guess he was just carrying on a tradition.) It passed, btw (and I wouldn't class either of my DCs as difficult sleepers).

In DD's case, we found giving expressed milk from a bottle at about 10pm (from about 5w) helped enormously. But DS refused the bottle, so this isn't a foolproof plan. (I co-slept with DS from when he was quite tiny, although he'd start off in the cot.)

Morloth that is the funniest remark I have ever seen.

But really, your DH needs to be told that he has to get a grip and keep his sleepless pique and nervousness to himself, you are all doing the best you can, nobody is an expert and nobody should be pretending to be. (Actually, your DH might be right about both barrels, but for the wrong reasons. There's no such thing as guaranteed sleep, but it will help greatly with your milk supply to give baby both sides).

13 days is so early. Baby is still not sure what is night and what is day, the bfing relationship is still in its very early days and your milk supply is still developing. I would say, bring the crib very close to your bed, so all you have to do is reach over and scoop up the baby to feed, or get a tandem crib that attaches to your bed beside you. Try bfing lying down, with no light or only very dim light. This can be done safely. I ended up co-sleeping with all mine because it was the easiest way to get any sleep at all.

PS -- you have probably the most milk between midnight and about 2. Some mums try to get baby to feed around then and hope for a sleep from that feeding to the crack of dawn.

He is sleeping, just hasn't fitted into YOUR 24 hour routine yet. It is easiest to fit into HIS routine until the natural processes i.e. changes in your milk, melatonin caused by reduced daylight etc. nudge him into an acceptable routine.

Your job is to get 8 hours sleep in 24 hours, forgetting for a few weeks where those hours occur.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone and morloth that was just the remark i was waiting for- my husband is quite wonderful in many ways but i think he is finding the sleep interruption hard on him and as i said i did not realise the certitude of his lactation knowledge.

he slept better last night- i just wanted reassurance i am not feeding him incorrectly- i do always try to give both barrels but sometimes he is a nipple refuser as he gets his fill on one boob.

I think as i have had a c section i have found it harder to actually physically pick him up and have him in many positions but now this is getting easier it is helping so my hubby does have to wake up to pick baby up and put him on me and do the nappies as that movement- we do it on th floor- hurts.BUt he does get to sleep for the 45 mins i feed- i never thought i would feel envy towards someone just for sleeping!!

Just got up last night and watched the sopranoes when he (baby not husband)got restless and till he went back to sleep- hope he cannot in any way comprehend the violence in it...?

But it seems sometimes you can feed them plenty and they just do not want to go back to sleep and it has nothing to do with not being fed enough!!

thanks for all the advice but it was mainly vindication i was seeking - if only men had milk producing breasts- then they would have a different angle on it all i suspect...

no great advice, just sympathy - my 2 week old baby seems to be nocturnal! but it doesnt last forever. my dh is on the sofa bed downstairs at the mo, on the grounds that there is no point in us both being exhausted, and at least at weekends/while he is on leave, he can take the baby in the mornings after a feed and I can go back to bed!

hang in there.... really good advise here.

the doula i had come in save our sanity help me when ds2 was born told me sleep induces sleep, i didn't think it would be true but was for us! sometimes babies are just super tired not hungry all the time...