Can someone please define "helicopter parenting" for me?

[ItNeverRainsBut]

So Helicopter Parenting is considered BAD. But where are the boundaries of Helicopter Parenting? How much is too much when it comes to checking up on your offspring? I don't want to warp my children by fussing over them. By today's standards, I had a lot of freedom as a child - in terms of being able to play outdoors without adult interference, roaming the neighbourhood etc, and so it seems to me desirable that children should be allowed to just get on with their own stuff. But then, a friend of mine recently told me about her friend's 4-year-old who died choking on a grape. And I think, God, if a child can die like that at age 4... and I start wondering if I should be cutting up grapes for my 3-year-old. Because I'd rather be derided as a Helicopter Parent than lose her. I know that some of the things I did as a child would have terrified my mother (she just didn't know about them!)

So where do you draw the line between overly fussy versus sensibly cautious?

They are control freaks with a need to feel superior, who don't know the value of healthy boundaries because they don't really respect their children, deep down, and use scare tactics (choke on a grape and other urban legends) to make other parents feel bad about their less watchful approach. Far more people are killed and injured in car accidents than by choking on grapes or falling in the playground, but they travel in cars all the time... Parenthood is an ego trip for them, and they see their children as little extensions of their personalities.

The difference between reasonably cautious and overprotective might be clear to others but usually the helicopter can't see anything wrong with the projecting of their anxieties and ego needs onto their offspring. They're people who have lost a large, rational chunk of their brains, imo, along with their sense of perspective.

Rant over.

Here's a good example: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/8413658.stm

My dad is a classic helicopter parent.

He stood behind me when I chose my a-levels to make sure I didn't choose something like Media Studies! (shock horror!)

No woneder I have issues!

poshsinglemum, are you my long lost sister. My Dad declared that no daughter of his would be a fecking secretary and chose my GCSE options including such gems as economics and commerce. I am so shite at maths and he knew that. Suffice to say I fucked up royally, so this daughter of an economics professer got an E in economics. You couldn't make it up

I have even come across parents who have done their precious children's homework for them, to ensure they don't get worse marks than their classmates.

If anyone brought his/her parent along to an interview I was conducting I would very politely be asking the parent to butt out......... It's the child who may be working for me, and I want to see what THEY are made of.

Nefertari, my Dad used to MARK my teacher's markings and add comments or write notes to them in my books. I was . They knew my Dad was a bit bonkers though.