GRRR! Non-parent friends

[ButterPie]

Meh. Last night I was out for a very rare night out with some old friends from my pre-children days (back in my old town visiting parents). I made some throwaway remark about being a hardworking mother of two and my so-called best friend quite aggressively said "you're not hardworking, you just sit about at home all day, she (indicating a friend who WOH) is hardworking, she doesn't expect the taxpayer to pay for her"

..I just laughed nervously and changed the subject.

Now, I have done both SAHM and WOHM and I think they are both just as hard in different ways. The "taxpayer" only gives me what they would give me if I worked anyway (I get tax credits, child benefit and DLA). Previously I had been talking to a friend who is disabled and we had joked that we were doing quite well for ourselves (we aren't rich by any means, hence why we were joking) and the friend had been glaring at us.

It is just the latest in a long line of judgyness off this childless friend about how I (and other friends) bring up my kids, I know I should just shrug it off and be ready to support her when she has kids, but, really, when I worked she had problems with DD staying at my mums so I could do late shifts. If I was being paid to be a nanny for someone elses kids she wouldn't be saying I'm lazy. I had a c-section 6 weeks go and I'm still limping from SPD fgs! I think I do pretty well looking after a newborn and a toddler and running a house really.

Anyway, just needed to vent at people who might understand. Why does someone whose life is, tbh, a bit of a car crash atm, feel the need to have a go at my life?

If she was happy, she would be much less likely to be having a go at you.

Maybe you've got what she wants and the green eyed monster is at work

Because they are self-centred and mean.
I used to have a friend that made sly little comments about me being a parent and stuff, I ignored it all for a while until she said something along the lines of "What makes you think I'm interested in whether he rolled over? I didn't ring you to talk about a bloody baby" So I told her to f off. Haven't spoken to her since. That was over 2 years ago.
I'd say she is partly jealous and partly just selfish, insecure and needs any attention she can get tbh.

Her friendship doesn't seem worth it to me; why is she being so judgemental?

the first thig i thought was you cannot judge until you are a parent yourself!

i dont think YOU should question your friendship i think you should ask HER to question your friendship, ask her 'if you feel this way about me why do you want to be my friend?'

Another example of how "womens work" is totally under-valued and ignored.

Although I agree your friend sounds bitter in some way.

I think your friend is unfair to you, every mum deserves a medal, nomatter if she at office or at home. I am at office, so I also pay for you, and do not worry, I wish you great time with your kiddies.

I've been on both sides of the fence - I was the last one of my friends to have children and until I did, I had NO conception of what it was like. I honestly thought babies lay in their cots all day unless you were feeding them, etc and did think mums spend their days watching tv and drinking coffee.
Now having kids, I can appreciate exactly how hard it is, although having kids is the best thing I have ever done.
So I would not dump your friend just for that remark, it depends how much you enjoy her company. It was probably a thoughtless throw-away remark rather than her being purposefully rude.
Until she walks in your shoes as a mum, she will never know what it is like so either keep her as a friend and keep talk away from family (which as a non parent is the most BORING talk ever). Or distance yourself from her, only you can decide.