Just need a bit of moral support please!

[Pogger]

Hi there My first time posting in this area, but I'm feeling a bit low about the whole billingualism thing, so thought maybe someone might give me a bit of moral support/ hand-holding...

We live in the UK, DH is British, I moved here when I was 4 years old but was born in Germany - I have always spoken German with my family (including at home growing up) but it is nowhere near as good as my English. DH speaks no German at all.

DD is now 5 months and I speak to her exclusively in German - I have been really enjoying it (perhaps because it reminds me of being a child myself, perhaps because it feels like a special thing that we share only with each other), but have also been feeling a bit demoralised when I think about how much English she must be absorbing all the time.

No real question to ask, but it would be really lovely to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation. Did it work out? I really want it to, but am worried that my speaking to her just won't be enough - it would be so sad to lose that connection with my family & history.

Guten Abend,
It is really nice that you speak to your DD in German. Please don't feel demoralised that she will absorb more English than German - she is living in England and has an English-speaking father so English will be her first language. German will be her second language, because you speak to her in that language. She is able to distinguish between the English that her father speaks and the German that you speak. She will not get them mixed up. You need to follow this up with written German to correspond with written English when appropriate.
My DH spoke English to the DCs, whilst I spoke French. All bar one have happily absorbed both languages and are effortlessly bilingual. The only downside was our youngest DS, who suffered from selective mutism (an inability to speak in certain situations, mainly due to anxiety). Apparently, in susceptible children, being spoken to bilingually can trigger this condition. The risk of this is small, but worth considering.
I am sure that you will succeed if you want to. The language is a bonus, but your family and history will come from you, whatever the language. Good luck

Don't worry too much about the theory, just keep talking!

I am also half German, like your dd, but my mother didn't keep up the German, partly because my father couldn't speak it, and I really regret it. Would your dh be willing to learn German?

Your daughter will be absorbing English, but you can balance it out a bit with music, singing, CDs, DVDs, satellite TV, books and stories and maybe finding some other German children to meet up with as she gets a bit older.

Good luck!

I'm German living in the UK and try to raise my child bilingually. Her dad is English and doesn't speak, but understands some German.

I'm sometimes worried that she'll be exposed too little to German as she's in nursery full time, so her exposure to English is much stronger, however i just keep going.

She's got CDs with German children's songs (a copy of which the nursery also puts on sometimes, there's another German girl in her group), I read stories to her in German and talk to her exclusively in German. We don't know yet whether it works, she's only a year old and doesn't speak yet, but I'm just sticking to it and hope for the best.

Dillie, RacingSnake, WidowWadman, thanks so much for your replies! Really nice to hear that it can work, even with little second language input - will definitely carry on and will also take all your advice on German CDs, stories & satellite TV. I also believe that DD will regret it if we don't continue.

Dillie, what a shame about your youngest DS - have never heard of selective mutism but have now looked it up and I hope it has now sorted itself out completely.