my dd doesn't like me and never has

[warthog]

every day is another cycle of rejection and after nearly 4 years it's killing me. every day i get up with a smile on my face and try my best to not provoke an anti-mummy tirade. daddy is the bees knees apparently.

i've tried everything: not taking any notice, telling her that's not the way to talk to me, walking away, making (or trying) to make her laugh.

nothing works or at least it works for a little bit but then we're back to square one. today she said she didn't like my voice and wishes she didn't have to hear it. she only likes daddy's voice.

she doesn't like talking to me, but when she's with dh, i hear them having lovely conversations. it makes me really sad.

she is 3.75.

any coping strategies / tips please?

I really sympathize and can appreciate your situation!
I am having similar issues with my son (22 months). I feel as though I'm the main disciplinarian as well as being out of the house most for work (my partner is freelance and works from home). Often my son's mood improves in a blink when his dad turns up. Depending on the time of the month, he can reduce me in tears because (with his limited vocabulary) he still manages to express the fact he'd prefer not to have me around (waves at me and says "bye bye")!
I wonder too, and hope, this is a phase and things will change. Nevertheless, it makes me feel guilty for being more absent than his daddy, and useless as a mum since he always looks to his dad for comfort first.

warthog my DD(3.3) is like this towards me sometimes. She tells me she doesn't like me, and when DH is at home on weekends she is all over him, if I try to do anything for her she shouts that she wants Daddy to do it. Tbh I don't take much notice as other times she will come up and tell me she loves me and give me a cuddle, or tell me I'm her best friend , then 5 minutes later she tells me to go away! I'm sure she doesn't mean it

Don't feel quilty. She is pushing your buttons and it is working. Just don't react to her mean things but at the same time, be clear that you will not allow her to speak to you that way. Her behavoir is very disrespectful. Let her know that you are her mother and she is not to speak to you that way and follow-up with a time out or whatever form of dicipline you use if she does it again. At the same time, indicate you are sorry she feels this way but you love her. She sounds confused and needs you to be strong and sounds like she is getting mixed messages from dh. Keep on and be consistent. She will learn but don"t cater to her moods and meaness as she is learning it works.

Thanks to all the posters above for this - I have the opposite problem - it is my DH who is not favoured and I'm trying to understand how to work it out. This helps me see it from his point of view...