7 year old DD refusing to leave the house

[NoDoubt9901]

I'm tearing my hair out over my 7 year old DD at the moment. She refuses to leave the house and gets herself into the most awful state of sobbing, screaming and tantruming when asked to. She was supposed to go to a birthday party this morning but when it was time to leave she lost it and refused to leave the house. By the time she decided she did actually want to go, it was too late and I was so angry that I refused to take her.

When it comes to going to school or to the childminders (before school) she has no real issue over leaving the house. It just seems to be if we are going somewhere like a party, or the park, or the shops or out to see friends - you know, fun stuff that children are supposed to like doing. She does this when we are visiting my mum or when she is at her dad's as well so it isn't just when she is with me.

It is so bloody frustrating and time consuming. We are late for everything because I have to spend a good 2 hours trying to persuade her to leave and get her ready. It's been going on for a good 2 years or so now but appears to be getting worse just recently.

I have asked her why she doesn't want to and she can't give me a coherent reply other than "I don't want to".

Is there anything I can do? (except for lose my temper as that's all I seem to be achieving at the moment!) And why does she not do this before we leave for school or the childminders?!

what is she like when she gets to the party or park?

I can't advise as such but do you think it could be an attention-getting thing (even if subconciously)? 2 hours of cajoling per outing is an awful lot of attention.

If you think this is a possibility then next few times she plays up try saying 'Ok, that's fine' and leaving it at that. Maybe even that taking the pressure off will make her more inclined to go?

maybe she just really prefers being at home with you than going out to things?

i think i would totally lay off for a while. if she is ok going to things she knows she has to go to, like school etc then that's good.
don't make any other plans, don't force her to go out if she doesn't want to.

just take it easy. it isn't the end of the world if she misses a few parties or other things

Thanks for your thoughts. She does like being at home, she enjoys playing with her toys and is a bit of a homebody but once she is actually out at the party/park/wherever, she is absolutely fine and ironically doesn't want to go home! It's so infuriating! Could well be an attention thing, although it has been going on for a substancial amount of time. It has got worse recently and that may be because she is picking up on tension between my ex and I. I've done my best to keep her from it but I know children are far more receptive than we think.
Someone suggested I make a wall chart and write down any social activities over the next few weeks so she is prepared for them. We did this wall chart together this afternoon so I'll see how she reacts tomorrow when we are going to see some friends.
Otherwise I'll try and lay off, I know me getting frustrated at her just makes the situation worse. I feel badly for my 3 y/o DS though as it means he misses out on outings if we don't end up going. (And he loves going out!)

Hey I know this is an old thread! I’m having the same issues with my 7yr old just now and just wondered how things worked out for you guys all these years later and any tips? Thanks!!