do you bribe your child to do well in school?

[brimfull]

loads of people do it
I don't
never thought of it really

If it definitely worked I might be tempted but part of me thinks they should just do it .
I am mainly thinking of dd in yr 13 but I suppose pertains to ds in yr 2 as well as he can be lazy bugger at times.

what do you offer if you do?

Money , gifts ?

bump

I have mixed feelings on this one - I have older children and the rewards dished out for GCSEs to some of DD2's friends were a bit . I prefer to reward effort rather than the actual academic achievement. At my DCs school they have interim reports with effort and achievement grades - 1 is the top effort grade and lots of 1s will earn a reward. For DD2(16) its usually an item of clothing that she has had her eye on and for DS(13) it might be a DVD. We sort of started it to encourage DD1 who hardly ever got 1s but it didn't work!

yes
I actually don't think it would make a difference with dd.

I have never done the money for A grades thing

No, I tell them bracingly that it's their education and their future and not actually my problem if they don't work or achieve.

I also bang on about how lucky they are to have lots of educational choices and how children in many countries struggle to get to school at all....

It seems to work, dds are 9 and 8 (not counting the 5yo) and these days they both do their homework without any nagging, or even reminding, whereas a year or two ago they were reluctant or just didn't do it).

I do think that the impetus to learn should come from the child/student, and for me that's one of the key things they need to learn.

No I never have. DD1(16) does get very good exam results. She always tells me what her friend is given (similar results) and this has included ipod, £100 cash, new phone etc. I don't feel it would make any difference to DD. To be honest she does just as well materially as her friend, I just prefer not to dress up what she would have anyway as a reward.

Don't think any of DD2s(13) friends are bribed - yet.

I'd feel really uncomfortable bribing DD to do well. I had friends at school who were rewarded for GCSEs - £50 for every grade C, £100 for a B and more for an A (IIRC).

I think my parents gave me a CD to say well done!

For me, I've always been motivated to do well, simply because I love learning and am extremely competitive, so I wanted to get numerous A*s for myself, not for any kind of present.

DD knows I put a huge value on effort and diligence in learning, but ultimately, however much you offer bribes, you cannot make a child take an interest in learning for its own sake, so it seems pointless to get them through certain exams by bribes, if they'll then fail to follow up and not truly care about learning for learning's sake.

Sorry, that was very long-winded

Another reason I wouldn't is that my 9 and 8 year old are quite different academically, one does very well at tests and exams with no revision, the other works harder and does significantly less well. The one getting top grades effortlessly is already adequately rewarded, the one who tries harder but does less well doesn't need it highlighted either.

Don't know anyone who bribes their child for school results.

But, an acquaintance of dd's was offered a big bribe this past summer. Her father told her he would buy her a pony if she achieved first place in a city-wide swim gala for her age group. She achieved it, so presumably the pony followed.....

The children are/were 8, btw.

what? Sorry, this sounds so weird, ggirl - I can't think why anyone would do this or consider it justified or appropriate.

ed that anyone does tbh.
What is in it for the parents? I don't mind if ds does well or not - i know for sure that he tries his best and is under enough pressure from teachers without me pitching in and giving him further self esteem issues.

What would it say about me of I cared about his grades enough to bribe him. I love him anyway.

No, I wouldn't.

I remember once getting 100% in an exam and my friends asking me "So what did you get for doing so well?" Up to that point I hadn't realised people got presents for achieving. I didn't get anything.

It was never an issue as I was the kind of child who wanted to do well anyway.

I think when they're older you can tell them what the consequences of no qualifications will be (if you think they are capable but lazy of course), how much money they won't earn, what they won't be able to buy etc...

But what is weird is that I still felt like I had to do well or disappoint my parents anyway, so maybe it's not to do with bribes in the dns.

in the END.

That's interesting KT - I remember once entering a maths contest at a private school - it was the whole county, about 1,000 kids, all 11yo. I was excited but when I won it didn't really occur to me that I might win something...and as soon as I started to get worked up about that, I realised it was a book about maths great thrills.
But the feeling of having won was irreplaceable. It actually freaked me out a bit though.

my parents never made a fuss, i never felt I had to do well. I'm grateful for that.

Well offering rewards to do well at school is certainly very common where I live FlightAttendant and by that I mean not just at my DCs school. I think its difficult when you have an older child who just doesn't "get" how important studying for GCSEs etc is and it is an easy option to offer a reward rather than letting them do badly and have to deal with the consequences.

SOrry didn't realise this thread was still going.

Flight-it is common where I am anywya. Dd has friends who get money for specific grades as RockinSockBunnies said.