Being bossed around when playing with 4 year old

[Rebecca41]

I just wondered if anyone knew what the "recommended" way to handle this is.

When I play with DS, he constantly bosses me around and gets cross with me. "No Mummy you're doing it wrong, like this not like that, no put that car there" etc etc. It's not much fun for me!

So, what should I do? As the parent, should I just accept it and let him do this, assuming he's just expressing himself with the person who loves himself unconditionally? Is this all part of normal child development?

Or should I tell him not to be so bossy, and that playing isn't fun if the other person is always telling you off? After all, he starts school in January and I'd hate to think of him treating other kids like that!

sorry - "loves him unconditionally", not "himself"!

My dd used to do this a lot - we basically told her that we wouldn't play unless she played nicely, as it is not polite to boss people about.

She's now 5 and has got a bit better. Though I collected her from school one day and found her in tears as apparently she wanted to play a particular game and none of the others did. This made her exceptionally frustrated, but I guess this is something they have to learn.

I'm going to go against the grain here.

Is it sooo bad to let a child " boss you about " while you are playing their game for a while. We spend a lot of day "bossing " them about afterall.

put your shoes on, hurry up, NO, don't spill it, carefull, hold it this way... Its bedtime, washtime, time to go out, wear a coat.

I stopped letting dd do this at about 3-4 when I saw how bossy and poor at adapting to others/ play she was with other dc. Now I try to be a bit like those other dc - less cooperative and compliant. She's 4.5 now and it's still a work in progress - she still struggles to adapt to the play of others when it doesn't go her way.

UniS I'm with you on this. Children just want a go at doing what everyone else does.

No big deal. It makes me laugh when they do it. And you can always ham it up which makes it more fun for you. 'Pleeease let me put the train over there. Oh go on, pleeease,'etc etc.

I agree with UniS too.

DDs only chance to be bossy is when playing with me and she knows it and makes the most of it.

She is not bossy in the same way with her peers.

You could perhaps show him how to boss politely rather than in a bossy tone of voice.