Leaving ds (3) for 4 nights!!

[AandO]

DH and I are going away to Prague this weekend for my birthday. It will be the first time we have left ds (age 3) for more than one night. We will be away 4 nights. I am seriously starting to freak out at the thought of leaving him. I'm very anxious. I have wrote a little book for him telling him what is happening on each day we are gone and where we will be so that he knows what is going on. He will be staying with my parents. I read the book to him and he got distressed when I read the part about us getting on the aeroplane and him and nanny waving bye bye. He started saying no no, nanny says bye bye mommy, daddy and oisin and we all get on the plane. I am worried that with us going away he will in the future feel like we could up and leave at any point again. I'm not sure I can go through with it!

LOL and when you call him because you are a worried about him he will not be able to get you off the phone quickly enough to get on with whatever he happens to be doing.

If he loves his nanny, he won't miss you at all you know. It sucks, but there you go .

Honestly?

I think you are making a bigger deal out of this for him than you need to.

It is a big deal for you, I appreciate that, but he doesn't have any concept of what it means, and you may be making him feel worse about it by projecting your anxiety.

I think you need to concentrate on the positive, how much fun he will have with nanny, how you can't wait to see him, the present you'll have for him. And don't talk about it too much.

Once you are gone, he will be fine and may even treat you with indifference for the first day after you get back (be prepared!)

Try looking at it through his eyes, not yours. He will be cared for, and will probably be spoilt rotten. He will have a great time. Just make sure you do too!

Have a great time, and you are not a terrible mother if you don't miss your child every second when you are away. It is far healthy IMHO not to miss them for some of the time, than to pine for them the entire time. 4 nights is a long time when you have only left him for one before, but its long enough to appreciate the time off you have, to have some fun with DH, and look forward to seeing him again.

Enjoy!

AandO, how lovely of you to take so much care of him by writing a book.
I think you are doing exactly the right thing.
Of course he is upset and wants to go too.Who wouldn't? It's fine (but not easy) that he expesses his sadness and protests and that you are not glossing over his distress.
He is 3 and he can talk and he will be with someone who loves him. He really will be OK, but yes he will miss you and may be a bit ignory when you come back.
At 3 he won't have much sense of time, but the book will really help and maybe a little calendar with nanny to tick off the days?
Relax. Try not to pass on your anxiety and have a wonderful time!

Thanks for the replies! I guess I've just been getting myself into a state. He will probably have great fun, he's scheduled to go to gymborree with his cousins one day, and go over to his other cousins the next day, so he should be very busy. I guess I lost sight of the idea that he may actually have fun!

I have only spoken to him once about it, when I read the book. That was two days ago and I haven't mentioned the trip at all since, I probably need to read the book to him again today as we are leaving on Thursday! I don't think he could have got any anxiety about it from me, as I've been so anxious that I haven't even spoken to him about it! Ironic really, I nagged dh for years to do something romantic and the second he does I'm trying to back out of it!!

I think the more fuss you make, the bigger a deal it will be for hm. If you just say 'Mummy and Dady are going away, but not fo rlong, and you're going to do this, this and this and it is going to be SUCH fun' and just be all casual about it, he'll probably think nothing of it.