Tidy up time and how to make ds pitch in

[giveitago]

OK I've probably left this a bit late but I've only just realised that ds will not do any any tidying up - at all and he's been at nursery since 15 months so should be used to it.

All friends say that their dcs participate happily - mine is absolutely against the idea.

I'm knackered so I tried to get him to do last night - big battle in the end (I won) but how can you get properly get your little one (3.5) used to the idea of tidy up at home and be a bit more in charge of his own toys?

at this age the old 'how to talk' trick is fairly good. instead of saying 'pick up your coat' you say 'oh look your coat is on the floor where does that go' and smile and encourage until you want to pull out your own teeth.

I've tried that and he's gone 'yeah and?' I think his new state nursery has given him the tools to really push the old button!

What's hard is that he's in nursery in the afternoon so by lunchtime place a mess and I HAVE to get it a bit cleaner and then we've got post nursery and I've tried to get him to do tidy up just before bath.

We live in a flat and he's got a small room so toys are in the living room no way around that.

Can you make it a game? Who can pick up 5 things fastest?
When DD was in reception the teacher played a track (mambo no5, I think) and it was a cue for tidying up.
DS2 went to a little nursery where the manager's phone alarm went at 10.30 every day and it was time to tidy up before snack.

do you have a stereo?

I worked with a teacher once who put a song on and the tidying up had to be done by the time the song finished.

She didn't warn them that it was about to start just pressed play and you should've seen them jump to it!

Worth a try?

i tried all the old making it a game and positive reinforcement stuff

then I tried no telly until we can see the floor

the latter worked.

I had very good results with giving a time and threatening to put away (or throw in the bin) everything that's left out after that. This works very well on DS, but sadly doesn't work at all on DH.

Making it a game does work. Dd told me this, she is 5 and saw it on TV .

What also works is saying 'everything that's on the floor in 5 minutes is going in the bin'.

Um. Don't let him do the things he wants to do until he's helped? Take toys away from him if he won't help tidy them away? Obviously it's too much to expect him to go from not tidying up at all to doing it all by himself, so how about asking him to put away three toys (for a start) and if he won't, take the three toys and put them out of his reach, but still in view, and tell him he can have them back when he agrees to help tidy up. I would go down the old "if you're not going to look after your toys by helping to put them away, then you won't be allowed to play with them." I have 3.5 yr old twins. We usually watch 10 minutes of TV between tea time and bath time. They know that the TV won't go on until after they have helped to tidy up. If they drag their heels too much, then they "run out of time" (IYSWIM) and don't get to watch their episode of Wonder Pets.

Turning the TV off and not allowing it to go back on until the floor is clear works here too!

Try the 'before' trick.

Before bedtime.
Before lunch time.
Before snack time.
Before story time.

It usually works.

Right - will try to associate with music.

Last night - the toys on the floor did go in the bin 'outside' - he wanted them back and promised to put them away (this was 4 toys) so I bought them in and once there he refused - oh god - this went on for about 40 mins (and bin for outside 3 times) and then he did it! Aghhh

You know when you start something and it's not working and you're thinking, shit, I have to win to show consistency. OMG - it was a struggle - but one we need to do.

Only thing is we're going to mil and if I'm not at his beck and call I'm a terrible mum style thing and his routine will be straight out the window so wondering how much I can achieve before christmas or start afresh when we get back.

What an ordeal - but needs to learn a bit of responsibility for his own stuff. Bless him.

Many thanks all

You may actually have to throw something away. If he knows he gets them back by promising to put them away, it will soon lose its power.

Obviously, you start with the stuff you'd be thrilled to see the back of.

Yep purple I surely do have a hitlist of toys that I'd like to see the back off!

How about using a reward chart\stickers each time he helps tidy up?