not sure how much more i can take...

[reallyflippinfedup]

Right, I have never posted before but need some suppport, or advice or even just someone to say I am not alone..

I have two kids, my eldest is 2.4 and I have a 16 week old baby. The baby is brillant, such a lovely thing, all smiles really is the perfect baby.

My ds on the other hand....he's always been hard work, but this past month or so he has been so awful. really really terrible. So badly behaved. All he does is whine....all day every day... from litrally 5 mins after he has gotten up until bed time. He has the most horrific temper tantrums if he doesnt get his own way. He has complete meltdowns and the slightest thing. I find staying in all day hard work, as he gets worse as the day goes on (as understandabley he's bored in doors) but with the weather so bad I often dont have a choice. Sometimes, he is so naughty and it is such a drama trying to get ready to go out that I cant be bothered with the hastle.

Some days i cant bare to go out as he behaves so badly wherever we go. Trips any where and everywhere are full of tears and whining and genral mis behaviour. he does not listen to a single word i say...he just runs riot. I really really dont know what to do.

I am considereing going back to work early, as I can take this any more. Everyday everday everyday is the same. Its like my patence runs out that little bit quicker everyday.. I feel like I am being worn down and eroded away.

How do you control them when they just dont listen to anything? How do you tame them when they are just so wild??

Sounds like you need some help. Have you got family or friends or neighbours who can take the baby off your hands for a while and give you some time to re connect in a happy way with your little boy? He's not much more than a baby himself is he and is probably reacting to the new situation with a baby taking up a lot of your time.

Or,is his dad around to give him some special time without the baby there?

It must be very trying and exhausting for you,I so sympathise about going out in this weather with two to get ready, but just a run around at a park might help.

Can you to concentate on the amenable side of your son, so you don't get stuck with him in a pattern where he is always seen as 'troublesome' and the baby as 'good'.

I think he is longing to be a 'good' boy who you love, but he's too immature to know how to make things better. Just small moments of playing with him and making him laugh could change your dynamic with him.

I don't know anything about Sure Start, but mums mention it. Perhaps they could give you a much needed break.

I'm don't really have any advice for you but just wanted you to know that you're not alone. My son is just a few months younger than yours and he has been getting more and more naughty lately. He can go from being lovely to throwing a raging tantrum in a matter of seconds. I'm pretty sure they all do the same at this age (at least that's what I'm telling myself) and it's something we just have to ride out. I know how it feels to spend the day feeling like you're about to lose it though.

It must be very difficult to deal with when you have a baby too. Do you think his behaviour might be in part to do with his feelings about the baby?

Hopefully someone more helpful will be along soon.

I think you really need to get out somewhere every day, unless the weather is very very bad.

Do you have any parent and toddler groups locally? I go to one at a church and one at a sure start centre. You'll be able to talk to other parents and he can run around and use some energy.

I would go mad stuck in all the time and so would ds. Hth