Telling 4yo I'm pregnant

[SpudtheScarecrow]

I've just had my 12 week scan and want to tell DS1 that we're expecting DC3 but am putting it off as I know he'll have lots of questions that i'm not sure how best to answer. He'll be excited about a new brother or sister so I'm not worried about that it's just all the biological stuff! He knows babies grow in muumies' tummies but I know he's going to ask how they get there etc. I want to be as honest as possible but don't want to overwhelm him so wondered if anyone had any advice/experience to share. Are there any good books out there? We have a couple from having DS2 but they are quite young ones.

Thanks

Usborne the new baby is okay

You have to be as honest as possible about this, but you don't have to be graphic.

I heard someone recommend that you talk about "seeds". Daddy puts his seed inside mummy and mummy gives a place for the seed to grow.
He doesn't have to know how daddy got the seed in there!
Good luck x

Thanks

the trouble is GetDown, I think his next question is almost certain to be how did it get there! I'm just imagining him repeating any explanations at pre-school

most 4yo are not particularly interested in biology. you are probably worrying for nothing

why do you want to tell him so soon?

he will probably ask practical questions like " where will it sleep? "

When we told DSD about DD1, her first question was "Where are its clothes".

Try not to worry or overprepare - at some stage DS needs to know, and his questions are exactly that - his questions. You can't really prepare for every eventuality, but honesty without brutal biology works, and if you have some chocolate buttons on hand you can probably divert the really difficult ones till later...

Kristina - he's already asked questions about where babies come from etc and I've not really answered properly as it wasn't relevent - now I don't think I'll be able to distract him!

I want to tell him fairly soon as I'm starting to tell friends and family now and want to make sure he knows before someone else accidently says something in front of him and also to explain why I'm a bit lazy very tired at the moment

well if you are pushed you can say that daddy and mummy have a very special kind of cuddle and that's how daddy puts the sperm inside mummy

our 4yo and 5you were discussing this today in the car and showed no interest in how the sperm got there, so you might be in luck

Can I add -

We discussed, in technicolour detail, proper names, the lot, the entire process to DD1 & 2 on the birth of a cousin and the subsequent interrogation.

Weeks later, in the car, DD2 announced:

"I'm going to adopt babies."

"Why, darling?"

"Because they hurt like mad on their way out of your china".

The best of explanations can go awry, don't sweat it, at worst it becomes a story you can humiliate them with at university.

On telling three yo DN that DD was on her way

"where is the baby now?"

"in my tummy, here"

"but how is it going to get out?"

"shall we get out Thomas the tank engine?"

"YAY"

Thanks everyone - was thinking I'd go down the special cuddle route

my ds is 3 and im 6 months pregnant. i didnt tell him until after the 20wk scan when i was fairly sure that all was well. his first questions included, why cant she come out now? (she's too small), can i see her? (there are no windows darling!) and how will she get out? ( by magic! - rubbish i know but that one caught me off guard )

he seems genuinely excited now and we found a nice book in waterstones called - there's a house inside my mummy - nice and gentle and not too graphic.

mummy laid an egg by babette cole is very funny.

there's a house inside my Mummy, is good. ds1 loved it.

My 3yo only asked how it would get out.

I tried my best to explain in an appropriate way, but I wasn't sure she had understood, untill she saw a heavily pregnant woman out shopping and loudly told her "Do you know that your baby is going to crawl out of your tuppance when it is big enough?"

The whole shop heard her

Shiny - that is just the sort of thing I can imagine happening!

My ds (4) is dealing with the impending arrival of dc3 fairly well. It was definitely easier when he was 2.5 and just accepted that the baby magically came out one day, but this time he has asked "do the doctors have to cut it out?" (answer: sometimes, but not with you or dd, although you did get quite stuck and we had to use a hoover on your head to get you out), "does it hurt" (answer "yes, quite a lot, but you are definitely worth it) and so on. he knows that babies get in there because mummy and daddy have special cuddles to make babies (and oddly, seems quite comfortable with just that ).

He did inform me that dc3 will be a boy "because it had short hair in the photo" (the scan pic) . Other than that, he's just looking forward to having someone else to boss around....

When DS (5) asked I told him that the Daddy puts his willy in the Mummy and some special stuff comes out which mixes with the egg in the Mummy's tummy and makes the baby. When he asked how the baby got out I told him that the baby comes out of the bit I have instead of a willy. He also watched some of the videos on babycentre, showing the sperm meeting the egg and the embryo developing into the baby etc.

He was like "Oh OK, can we go to the park now?"

This was all lovely until my neighbour asked him over the fence if he was excited about baby and got an earful about how babies were made.