My baby won't eat - please help

[Egwar]

I've heard of fussy toddlers who survive on thin air but what about a 9 month old? He won't eat off a spoon so we're doing BLW. Some days all he'll eat is carrots, the next day it's blueberries etc. etc. Impossible to guess what he wants so I just offer him a range of healthy choices 3 times a day but he keeps dropping centiles. This week he has hardly eaten anything. What the heck am I supposed to do?! Stupid health visitor tries to tell me he's not eating because his nose is blocked (which it isn't) or that I should give him breast milk instead of water to get more calories in him, but then he'll just get constipated! I've heard babies trend up or down from birth to the size they are genetically supposed to be but presumably thise babies that 'trend down' still eat?!

Help! Anyone else have experience of this?

bm wont constipate him

breast feed him often

chill about the food
offer plenty of choice
maybe casually let him sit on your lap when your eating and let him help himself?

Until he's one year old the bulk of his calories should come from milk.

Breast milk won't make him constipated. Who on earth told you that?!

Some tips for BLW that I've found helpful:

Don't put too much on the tray.

Give him things he can hold.

Large bits of food he can take a bite out of work well.

Give him a bf before offering him solids.

If you want to spoon him something (like yoghurt or weatabix) and he wants to grab the spoon let him. Just load the spoon and hand it to him.

And most importantly, chill out

Give him bm if that's what he wants. Plenty of cultures don't wean until past 9m or a year, so don't worry if he's having mostly your milk.

Most useful words of wisom I ever got about weaning were 'food is fun before one'. It stopped me worrying.

Don't worry too much about the food or water, just the milk. get as much as possible into him.

Are you restricting his milk intake? Best not to. As much breastmilk as he wants and just offer the food. Don't panic if he's not ready for it yet.

BM is something like 85% water, it won't constipate him.

Thanks everyone. No - I'm not restricting his BM, have always fed on demand but he very rarely asks for milk so I offer him 4 feeds a day even if he doesn't ask (he's 9 months now). I know he gets constipated if I don't offer him water all the time because we had 6 weeks of it ending last month. I haven't tried doing even more BFing though - do you think feeding him more milk (like with each meal) would be the best approach? Am concerned he'll have even less food practice if I do that. I gave him a bottle last night to see how much he took and it was only 60ml.

I've found that my 8mo won't eat solids if he's hungry. Quick breast feed and he's usually bit more interested.

Try a mix of different things. Don't worry if he likes something one day and not the next. How small are you making the bits you give him?

Foods that my DS particularly likes are:

pita bread

toast

cock tail sausages (not often mind!)

fromage frais.

Brocoli (especially the tender stem stuff)

He'll also eat dried fruit, like a date (cut in half with the stone removed)or half an apricot slice.

He will eat a stick of banana, a chunk of avocardo or some orange and then go off them after a bit.

He gets a mixture of sizes. I thought perhaps he was having trouble picking things up but he seems to like picking up peas and blueberries one by one. He sometimes tries things after his dad has been eating them but only his dad - not me! Just gave him BF for dinner. Will try himm on a bit more food shortly.

can you try and get more calories into him, to stop him dropping further down the centiles? Carrots and blueberries are good nutrition, but they don't have many calories.
Will he eat cheese?

Agree completely starlight99 - I give him cheese, cream cheese or full fat hummus with every meal. He doesn't always eat it though! Tried putting cream in his soup last night - I'm sneaking the calories in wherever I can

A friend of mine's baby is on the 2nd centile for weight. She puts double cream on his cereal!

4 times a day isn't much breastfeeding for a 9 month old. My 14 month old still has 4 feeds in 24 hours and eats a tonne as well!

My dd didn't eat anything to speak of until after 11 months, and she used to bf around 9 times a day! No probs with weight gain with all that lovely bm. If you give more bfs then he won't get constipated. If he was before then it was only because he wasn't getting enough of it.

One thing that sometimes works if I want to spoonfeed my reluctant 11mo is giving him something to hold ie his own spoon or his water cup etc

nine months is a pretty common time for them to display strong preferences imo, i wrote about it on my blog at the time i remember.

nut butters are good for adding cals, but i would just go along with carrots one day and blueberries the next if that's what he wants.

What's your definition of constipated? (e.g. how many poos per week?) Giving him water might make him take less BM as he might feel 'fuller'; if he's thirsty and you offer BM, he's inadvertently getting some calories as well as quenching his thirst. If you are concerned about constipation, it can help if you drink orange juice yourself - something comes through in the BM to make them poo!

Nothing wrong with lots of BM for a baby of 9mths. If you relax a bit with the solids you might find you can come back to it in a week or two and make a fresh start, with less pressure on the 2 of you.

If you switch the water for milk, he'll still be getting enough liquid won't he? Was it not drinking enough that was making him constipated?

Do you eat with him, or is he eating on his own?

Maybe he would prefer to graze, eating little and often during the day, rather than 3 set meals.

My DS (15 months now) was exactly the same OP, and I was worried sick. At one point he ate virtually nothing for 3 weeks (he's done 2 weeks on another occassion). He did seem to eat very little, but he was happy and I kept him going on milk. He was just very busy doing other things - even now sitting down to eat is fairly low priority if there are toys to play with, rooms to run across and cupboards to empty.

We did blw (he refused spoon feeding). As well as fruit and veg I used to offer - fallafel, meatballs, pieces of cooked chicken, bits of ham, bread/toast with lots of butter (calories), bit of cheese, skinless sausages, those yoghurts/fruit purees in squeezy sachets, frozen Frubes (as ice pops), oatcakes, drop scones (good source of eggs as finger food), potato wedges, fish fingers, cheese on toast, sardines on toast. Most of this stuff sounds like junk, but I home made most of it. Dried fruit, rice cakes, savory biscuts (again home made without any salt, spread with cream cheese).

He did drop centiles yes, but was never a "bad" weight for his age and height. At 15 months now, he will take a spoon, if he can do some himself too. And he has the appetite of a horse!

Egwar do you tend to give him the same things at meal times? You mentioned cream cheese and houmous. Could he be bored? My DS will not eat something if he's had it already in the same day or occasionally the previous day.

He might be ok picking things up, but then struggle to get the item actually in his mouth. I've watched DS nip his fingers and struggle to with something that he's picked up easily but can't find a large enough bit to get it in his mouth.

Anyhoo that's just me thinking aloud really. How's it been today?

Don't worry Egwar, just give your ds plenty of milk and don't worry if he doesn't eat much food, he's only 9 months old and babies don't all have big appetites anyway, and their appetites can be up and down like a yoyo too.

My dd went from the 50th centile at birth to the 20th now at 18 months. She's a strong healthy toddler and I don't worry about centiles (any more ) because we all come in different shapes and sizes.

I understand what you mean about calories, my dd always wanted to eat all the cucumber, broccoli and spinach and always left the rice/pasta/bread. But then I decided that was because she was getting her calories from her milk and lots extra vits and minerals from all the fruit and veg! Aren't blueberries a superfood anyway?

DD still has three 200ml bottles of cows' milk a day, and I still see it as the most important part of her diet (so does she! ). I put butter and olive oil on her veg, and don't sweat it if she turns her nose up at her food. I think babies and toddlers eat what their body "asks" them for in the amounts it "asks" for. So if they need more protein, they eat more beans and cheese, if their body needs more carbs they eat more pasta/rice, etc.

Just provide your ds with plenty of milk and a variety of food and let him do the rest. Don't worry, take lots of photos and enjoy exploring food together!

Hi and thanks everyone again - I'm going to try the drop scone idea. Always good to add another food to the list of things to try. He has had most of the other stuff and the only things I have found he doesn't like so far are brocoli and brie (everything else he has tried at least once). I think maybe he was feeling a bit off colour last week since he seems to be devouring almost everything this week! I have increased the number of bfs as well, since he seems to be asking for snacks between meals and I figure bm is the best he can get!

Boyraiser - my definition of constipated is no poo all day then cries when he poos because he can't get it out That seems to have happened a bit when he was first moving on to solids but thankfully not so much now that his system is used to food.

DS only ever had a few sips of water with meals until he was eating significant quantities of solids. I'd agree with the people who suggest more BF. I'd offer one side maybe half an hour before solids and the other side afterwards

DD is nearly 10 months and still mainly BF. She nurses through the night ((we cosleep so it doesn't impact too much) and then lots during the day 6-7 times maybe? I don't know really.

But anyway, if your baby is alert, happy and meeting milestones and not dropping off the charts I would just carry on as you are.

Drop scones are fab ? you can put anthing in them, like cheddar and spinach, or chicken/ham and peas, or mashed broccoli, or mashed banana, and you can spread Philadelphia or sugar-free jam on them. One egg?s worth makes loads of mini ones (I drop a tablespoon of batter on at a time) and I freeze them in fours and take them out and about with us as a handy, filling and very complete lunch.

If you have a baby with an egg allergy you can toast pitta bread, leave to cool and then either separate and spread cheese/jam/marmite or fill them with anything your baby likes. They go down very well!

Egwar I'm really pleased things seem to have improved