How can I stop snapping at dd and find more patience.

[poshsinglemum]

Most of the time I am really patient but recently I am snapping a lot with dd as I am knackered and upset about other issues.

I just find that parenting requires levels of patience and selflessness that I can't always muster.

Poor dd is only 18 months, georgeous and exploring the world but I find the general destruction hard to deal with.

Feel rubbish.

It's hard... bite your lip, count to 10 - whatever it takes. DD can't read your mind. If you can muster the self control for that 10 seconds she doesn't know that you were getting cross.

It's worth it!

Praise her when you can

Punish 'crimes' not mistakes - when she tips the bathwater all over the floor she isn't being naughty, she's experimentingwith the laws of physics!

Hi poshsinglemum, my dd is 19 months old and I feel exactly the same way as you! I'm completely knackered as well, and dd's becoming more "toddlerish" by the day.

She's getting more dramatic when she doesn't get her own way, and it's really hard to change her nappy at the moment, and she's not really hungry these days and so is really fussy about food. And she carries a little footstool around with her so she can get up on it and touch all the things she's not allowed to and throw everthing on the floor while I do the cooking or whatever.

I'm finding it really hard to be patient with her and I feel awful for shouting. Have no advice whatsoever, just wanted to say you're not alone and bookmark this thread hoping for some good tips.Today I'm going to try counting to 10!

no advice really just letting you know my 18 mnth ds is the same he manages to push all my temper buttons. i just use the counting to 10 method as decribed above it really does work.

I've got a 3 year old. One thing that often stops me in my tracks when I'm about to lose it and shout at him, is that he's picking up everything I say. I will often in other situations hear him say phrases that I've used. A harsh "Go away now and leave me in peace" from a little boy is heartbreaking. I know it's difficult to stop when they are just pushing the right buttons, but try to model best behaviour at all time - for kiddo's sake.

It is hard, I have no answers as I do it too and also feel bad about it.

It seems that life with toddlers is spent bending over trying to do up a strap that won't buckle due to manic toddler thrashing about.

Drives me mental.

(I do like them really )

Top tip from another thread which comes in handy. Imagine you are being filmed as part of a reality show/docusoap - some say that imagining Kirstie Allsop narrating helps - and behave accordingly. If you remember to do it, it works well!

I find it very hard keeping my patience with dd1 and 2 (3.8 and 2.6), when I am sleep deprived and tired (often!) It is very easy to let it spiral, and if I am snappy, they are more whiny/tantrummy etc.

I find it helps to use rescue remedy (I'm not sure whether I really believe it works, or whether it is the calming effect of counting 4 drops on to my tongue)

I also try to say I've got to get something from upstairs, go up stick head in wardrobe and swear loudly.

Like Habbibu I sometimes pretend that other people are watching (blimey I sound insane!), and commenting on what a lovely patient mum i am. However if I imagined that person was Kirstie Allsop, I might have to shout, 'Oi Kirstie, stop staring, and wipe that pout of your face!'

I think everyone snaps sometimes though, please don't feel alone.

a similar vein to Habbibu..
Sometimes I imagine someone from social services is watching me! Crazy I know but it helps.

also, have been reading a book recently called "How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk".
It talks about empathy with your child, trying to see things from their point of view, validating their feelings e.g. "you seem really cross today", "I can see you are very upset about that".

It's really made me think about the way I talk to DD

Most of the time I am lovely with her but I am snapping more and more., It's worse when I'm tired. I'm still breastfeeding and this dosn't help.
She asks for water then pours it o the floor.
She goes to the bin and pulls everything out and then pushes teh bin around the living room.
She winges every time I use the phone.

But they do such cute things again.

Carrying the footstool around is ingenious and very, very cute pploves christmas!

Some great advice here. It is really cute poshsinglemum, until she gets up on the stool and bangs my computer keyboard, picks up a mug of tea and my mobile phone! Your description of your dd and the bin made me laugh! My dd loves the bin too, she loves to take off her socks and slippers and throw them in.

I definitely was more patient today and distracted dd when she was getting whiny. How did you get on?

I went back to work. I'm no longer a whinging harridan (not that you are obviously ) but god I was horrid to my two because I was so bloody frustrated with the same old arguments every day.

Now we have a nanny, DH is around with them much more, they see mummy being nice and happy and purposeful and we all like each other more.

Won't work for everyone but it worked for me!

I think the only reason I'm such a patient Mum is because i'm on citalopram.

Decide that it doesn't annoy you (can you tell I've had counselling?). It makes all the difference. Oh, and pick your battles.

this too shall pass.

hazeyjane i use that rescue remedy and i think it really does work. i could have the world caving in on me but some of that on my tongue and life feels so much better.