How do you cope with bursts of stress??

[Comma2]

I have a newborn and a toddler 22 m. Toddler is lovely but needs all my attention or has the usual tantrums. I can't make a phone call, talk to baby or anything. She gets so upset and I love her dearly, but feel like I am loosing it bc I'm too stretched between the two kids, the normal chores and the tiredness.
Had to make a chore-call today, and toddler was screaming at top of lungs for attention. I got really mad at her, yelled at her and manhandled her out of the room. Am so ashamed now! I know i am not good dealing with stress but I should have interrupted the call and dealt with her properly. Then I sit here sobbing, telling her I am sorry and upsetting the poor little thing further. Really feel like I have to give the kids up to social services and go live in the woods as unfit for human society.

Can you please tell me what you do to cope with stressful situations in order to not lash out at the kids?? I really feel very terrible about not being able to deal.
I have no help during the day, so can't have family or friends help out... Help, please?

Sorry you're having such a tough time.

The age gap between mine is bigger (3.5 years), but I certainly experience the same problems.

It will get better. I found the stage when DS2 was newborn the hardest, because DS1 didn't get anything out of his existence at all. As DS2 got older and more interactive, DS1 enjoyed "playing" with him more. DS2 is now 7 months, and DS1 will happily dance around for him, pass him toys etc - they can often amuse eachother long enough for me to make the odd phone-call (in viewing distance of course) and even have a shower.

I can't recall how it is with a 22 month old, but I do deals with DS1. For example, I'll promise to play with him if he lets me make one phone-call without a fuss. And I admit that in the early days, when the stress was at its worst, I bribed him with a new toy if I was really desperate!

I have 3 DC's and if I really need just half an hour to make calls/chuck things into dishwasher/ clean the loo because THEY STILL DONT FLUSH THE FUCKER etc i wait till DC3 is asleep then sit the other two down in front of the telly watching a programme that they both agree on, god love them; and if I have two minutes spare after that I go on MN

yes, use cbeebies/peppa/whatever works on tv if you need to do something like make a call - and remember: this too shall pass.

gin

wrote on my hand not to yell, had dd watch telly or baby in swing, made a list of chores and their time slots so i could plan ahead dd-wise...beer for dinner(would love gin though). was much better, but is all very exhausting, isn't it....at least didn't treat dd horribly.