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Original poster

Father Christmas - does he exist?

34 replies

Rebecca41 · 05/12/2009 20:23

I'm sure this has been covered before, so apologies if I'm going over old ground.

Is there anyone out there who tells their children that Santa doesn't really exist?

I was brought up to not believe in Santa. My Mum was very open and honest and down-to-earth. The whole Santa thing just wasn't something she could do. It never bothered me, I knew no different.

DS1 is 4 now, so this first became an issue last Christmas. I asked a few friends what they thought, and was told in no uncertain terms that their children believed, and if my DS didn't, and told their kids, he (and I) would not be popular! So last year I went along with it.

This year however, I'm finding it difficult. DS is very logical, often questions things, likes to understand everything. Also, he's actually been quite scared of Santa when we've gone with friends to grottos. To him, Santa is a big fat strange man, who he doesn't want to speak to. So he doesn't seem to be enjoying the "magic of Christmas" that Santa supposedly brings.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to perpetuate the myth, and effectively lie to him. Lots of people have said they were devastated when they discovered the truth, so to me it feels as if I'm setting him up for a fall. But, these same people still think it was worth it, and wouldn't have it any other way for their kids.

Does anyone have any views on this?

I don't to destroy a potentially fun idea for DS, but equally I don't want to tell him a lie that he'll find out eventually and feel betrayed.

OP posts:

GrimmaTheNome · 08/12/2009 18:09

fruitful, tell your DS that Mrs-One-Who-Knows-Everything is actually just very very good at pretending.

Chaotica · 08/12/2009 18:11

Fruitful - Better steel myself for home educating then .

At least the be good or else no pressies rulw is fairly innocuous when applied within a family (as long as the DCs know that some families have no pressies because they don't have money).

Chaotica · 08/12/2009 18:12

x-posted with grimma - her idea is better

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Events & celebrations Families General parenting

ThumbleBells · 08/12/2009 18:27

I realised FC was not real when i was 5 - when I got my Fairy Queen outfit but the wand didn't work. If it had really come from FC, then of course it would have worked. I was disappointed but not devastated - I think if you find out earlier rather than later, you don't have the devastation of realising that "you've been lied to your whole life", because you just don't think like that. I don't think any of my friends made it to junior school (age 7) still really believing in FC and I don't remember any of them being traumatised by finding out.

I will be deluding DS (2) for a few years until he gets too literal about it.

Morloth · 08/12/2009 18:34

We don't do Santa. DS knows that other kids do and TBH seems to enjoy knowing something that they don't.

He hasn't seemed inclined to break the news thus far, but you never know.

DorindaG · 09/12/2009 19:45

Being heavily pregnant at this time of year seems to have prompted many of my work colleagues to give me the 'Santa lecture'. My DP and I don't think it will do our expected son any good to believe in the myth of SC. People at work are almost vehement; we don't celebrate xmas as such (no decorations,tree,fairy lights etc.) and are not religious, though we were both raised protestant.
I'd prefer my little one to understand the origins of traditions like SC and xmas and participate as others have said, for the fun of it, and enjoy the family time & gift-giving and goodwill in human terms, not because he thinks some strange fat bloke will give him some freebies if he's good for a week or two.

I also think I'd like him to appreciate who his gifts come from, and express his thanks to them, and understand that they cost!

That's not to say it can't be fun and just as lovely a time of year.
SC as we know him was invented by Coca-Cola anyway, might as well believe in the Hogfather!

Goober · 09/12/2009 19:48

Does he exist?.... Durr... YES!

Rosebud05 · 09/12/2009 22:02

Glad to have found this thread. My dd is 2.8 so not an issue yet, though she's definitely got some sort of idea about Christmas. I never believed in FC (the family legend goes that my mother was reading me and my twin sister a comic with someone dressing up as FC when we were 3.1 and I decided that he was someone dressed up) but was sort of happy to go along with it in a non-literal sort of way. Though I do remember CRINGING when old ladies would ask me what FC was bringing - didn't they know for goodness sake? I think I'm going to let her discover it for herself and make what she will of it - I certainly don't feel comfortable about really bigging it up though also wouldn't feel comfortable about stopping her believing if she wants to.

DuelingFanjo · 09/12/2009 22:27

I had the whole santa thing as a child, or at least I think I did, we were quite poor. I remember it from about 5 or 6 when we definitely had stockings and some traditions which came with santa but I also know that I kind of knew it wasn't really true, certainly bu the age of 7.

It amazes me that people get to 9 or 10 and still think it's real. Surely someone in school or their extended family would have told them?

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