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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you let your 4 year old watch tv downstairs alone in the morning while you slept?

77 replies

hattyyellow · 03/12/2009 15:28

One of our DC (she is 4.4) has started waking very early. We got fed up of her jumping into our bed and wriggling nonstop and told her she had to stay in bed.

DH then told her, without telling me, that if she really couldn't get back to sleep she could go downstairs and watch c-beebies.

Something in my head feels this is all wrong and I don't know why. The doors are locked so she can't get out of the house. There is a woodburning stove in the sitting room but it has a fireguard and it would be pretty hard for her to get that off and wrench open the door to the stove which is pretty stiff.

I think after years of my parents limiting tv and us limiting her tv, I don't feel she should be watching it in the morning. Especially by herself. This morning was the first time I heard her go downstairs and I felt dreadful as I dozed off again (had been up with baby in night) and woke up an hour later. I don't like to think of her downstairs unattended for an hour by herself. The last few days she has tiptoed down so quietly we haven't even heard her which also panics me a bit.

Does anyone else let their DC do this? Will some awful tragedy befall her that I haven't thought of? Any advice gratefully recieved.

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Heathcliffscathy · 03/12/2009 16:35

yes mine does and has done since he was 4ish

ShinyAndNew · 03/12/2009 16:36

Yes, I have. They now have a tv in their room . But dd1 (6) still goes downstairs for snacks and drinks for herself and dd2. This usually consists of juice cartons, a banana and a bag of crisps, which isn't an ideal brekkie, but won't kill them once a week.

CocoK · 03/12/2009 16:36

Definitely. We keep films for weekends so it's a treat and they get to watch one from 8am (they have to play until 8 if they get up any earlier - not sure why - it just evolved that way). Works brilliantly as we are happy rested parents and they love their film sessions. I suppose it's a bit different if she's on her own, but if she's happy doing it, why not? And with films/DVDs you can vet them beforehand so you know they're not scary etc or let her watch something you've already seen together.

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nigglewiggle · 03/12/2009 16:39

I appear to be a lone voice, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't sleep very well for one thing. Our bedroom is at the top of the house so we would be a long way out of it which doesn't help.

ScottishBoris · 03/12/2009 16:41

Ooooh, I've got a 3 and a 4 yo and still drag my hunogover body out of bed at 6.30 even at weekends to stomp downstairs with them. But, as you've all pointed out that they're pretty unlikely to get up to anything too horrible, I may chance it on Saturday and see how they get on! stupidly excited now at the thought of a possible lie in

Original poster

hattyyellow · 03/12/2009 16:53

I am coming round to the idea but still wonder if I'd manage to switch off and get back to sleep if I hadn't had such a bad night with the baby..

hopefully we would hear tinkling of glass as she climbed out of window etc..

I suppose you do learn to sleep with one ear open when you have kids - maybe that applies with morning sleep as well..

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santaicanexplain · 03/12/2009 18:51

my dd and ds are 2 1/5 and nearly 6, they go down in the mornings, they always take there duvets and pillows and camp out till i wake up, i very rarely get woken sooner than i have to unless they fight.

weekdays i wake at half 7 and saturdays i wake at half 9-10. (DP wakes with them on sundays, hes a light sleeper though so tends to wake with them earlier than me)

ChickandDuck · 03/12/2009 19:08

I no longer feel guilty. Although we have recently stopped DS1 from doing this as he managed to empty the fridge every morning, but he does play in his room on his own for a good half hour.

alexw · 03/12/2009 19:22

Yes! Am sure if you're like me you're a better mum for the extra hour in bed. Don't feel guilty.

ChilloHippi · 03/12/2009 19:34

No, I wouldn't let my DS go downstairs while I slept upstairs. I would have a nap in the armchair though

Rebecca41 · 03/12/2009 19:48

I think it depends on the child, but personally I wouldn't.

If you knew that your child would happily sit watching kids TV, then I think it would be OK.

My DS is 4, and he'd get bored of TV after a few minutes, and start prowling around doing other things. He might just play and make a mess, which is fine. But he might decide he wanted something from a high shelf and arrange chairs in a stack to reach it. Or he might find the door keys and go out into the garden. Kids are very observant and they know where keys are hidden.

I just wouldn't be able to relax and sleep knowing what could be happening downstairs. And that's despite the sleep deprivation of being a single parent with a baby too!

Pannacotta · 03/12/2009 19:55

We let our DSs do this (mainly DS1 who is nearly 5).

I think its fine if your child is happy just watching TV or a DVD for a while, but I wouldnt do it if either of my DSs were likely to get into scrapes.

In your case hatty, with a young baby I would allow it for sure, perhaps leaving out a DVD to watch if you are worried about too much TV viewing (which I totally relate to)...

EldonAve · 03/12/2009 19:58

mine does this
nothing to stop him as he can open stairgates
only issues I've had is him spilling milk (while serving himself) and raiding the cupboards for biscuits

liahgen · 03/12/2009 20:01

yep, regularly.

they come up and ask can they have a yoghurt. No prob, then they sit fixated watching tv quietly till we surface about 8, (they get up about half 6/7) on a weekend.

If they get bored, have a problem they come tell us, we can hear everything from our room, and I'm sure most of us can hear with that mums half an ear thing when we know they are up anyway.

MollieO · 03/12/2009 20:05

Yes and have done since 3. When ds was younger I made sure that the house keys were out of reach following an incident. Came down to find ds out in the garden carrying some steps to climb up and open the front gate! Said he was going to cycle to the park.

Egg · 03/12/2009 20:05

Sometimes if DS1 (nearly 4) is the only DC up early he goes downstairs with DH who leaves at 6:30am for work. DH gets him sorted with milk and cbeebies and I lie in bed until one of DTs gets up, but DS1 is rarely down there longer than 30 mins on his own, and he generally starts shouting upstairs at me to come down and sit with him.

TBH at the mo one or both of DTs are usually up at crack of dawn and are not old enough to be left unsupervised so it rarely happens. Would not want to leave more than one of them down there anyway as means one would undoubtedly upset one of the others and all hell would break loose...

SantasKinkyKnickers0nMaHead · 03/12/2009 20:07

Surely she isnt waking that early if cbeebies is on?

I wish cbeebies was on at 4am!!!!

allaboutme · 03/12/2009 20:10

my 4yo does. some mornings i dont hear him, he just treks off downstairs bless him.
i wake up when ds2 does as he is in a cot and yells 'MUMMY' at me when he wants to join his big brother!

StainlessSteelCat · 03/12/2009 20:12

I'd love to do this! My DS (aged 4) can turn on the TV and find CBeebies or play a DVD quite happily, and we'd get a lie in on the days when DD (9 months) decides to sleep late. However, we can't lock the kitchen door, so if he can get to the TV he can also get to the kitchen where he helps himself to any choclate/cake/sweets he can find, so either I have to leave them all within safe reach and he pigs out, or try to hide them and have him climb on counters to find them....He also tends to get distracted by other adventures. Recently that has included trying to write his name all over the hall in lip gloss, and giving the cats a bath in the toilet. Very reluctantly we have decided that no lie in is preferable to getting up to the carnage he can create. I dread to think what would have happened the day he decided he "wanted to make the cat into a human" ....

Ewe · 03/12/2009 20:13

Don't any of you worry about child choking or you having forgotten to do something before bed, like leaving a wine glass on a low table etc?

That is what would worry me so I don't think I could do it until my DD was old enough to understand things that are dangerous - like plugs!

oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 03/12/2009 20:15

yes!

TAFKAtheUrbanFucker · 03/12/2009 20:33

We've done this since ds was 2 or so. Fully toddler proofed downstairs (plug blockers, no wires, cupboard locks, oven guard etc) and put a bowl of dry cereal next to the telly so he wouldn't starve. He also has free access to the fruit bowl. We always do a spot check of downstairs before going to bed so we know it's safe for him - it's built into our routine so I'm not too worried that there's anything he could get into

I also have a little baby and the extra hour or so in bed is a lifesaver. We've even trained ds to take his night nappy off and put it in the bin!

zebramummy · 03/12/2009 20:41

selected dvd yes - but not so that i could have a good lie in; more so i could recover from the flu in bed i suppose!
tv never - once i left milkshake on for him while i made breakfast, came back in and Jeremy Vile had started. ds was pointing at the tv joining in with the audience 'go no - tell her!' - you dont wanna know what - so never again!

Marne · 03/12/2009 20:45

i let both of mine (aged 3.9 and 5.9), our house is tiny so i can hear them (if one was to start crying etc).

boyraiser · 03/12/2009 20:52

Yes, have let DS1 do it since 3, for about an hour, whilst we doze on (only at weekends). If DS2 (22mths) is awake, one of us gets up. I think you have to know your child and the potential hazards around your house - if you've got a serious, sensible one, then you'll know if it's OK. The second is a kamikaze fruitcake and will only be allowed downstairs on his tod when he's got children of his own...

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