2 children under 2 - 6 months in it is getting harder - help please!

[bumblebumble]

I have 2 children under 2 and the youngest is now 6 mo. The first 3-4 months were surprisingly easier than I had feared: baby BF and slept well - albiet me v. tired from night feeds. Now baby is on 4 bottles a day (one at 10.30pm) and has been on solids for 2-3 weeks and eating well. She briefly slept through the night a few weeks ago but is back to waking at anything from 2.30am and being very unsettled for an hr or two. So I am sleep deprived.

I am finding my days just dragging and I am limping through the days. DD1 now goes to a nursery 2 mornings a week and I go with the 2 of them to a playgroup one morning a week. So I am left with 2 mornings wondering what to do (one day I probably have a walk in the park with another mom if weather ok). And one teatime a week I meet a couple of mothers for tea.

The rest of the time I am on my own and the days are full of getting ready for food, feeding, clearing up afterwards, nappies, baths etc.

I don't feel I am spending proper time with either of them and seem to be forever saying to DD1 "hang on a minute whilst I just do ..." I feel she is now favouring her dad and he concentrates on her and gets time on his own with her - I got very upset last night as she was going to bed and I picked her up to kiss goodnight and she cried and looked to her dad.

I try to be organised with meals and things and we do sing to nusery rhymes and stuff but I feel the days are long and the graveyard shift from 4pm is long.

I expected the first 3-4 months to be hard based on the first time around but things are the other way round and are getting harder not easier. My husband does help me as much as he can and helps every weekend. We don't have anyone else to help and not much social support, no proper friends or people we see at the weekends so we are a bit socially isolated.

I always expected it to be hard but just feel in stuck in a rut.

bumping for you

anyone?

I feel for you. DS was 19mths when DD was born and the first 6mths were awful. A constant round of naps/nappies/feeds/sick/whingeing/cbeebies.

But it was around 6/7mths in that it all got a bit easier. In fact we went on hol when DD was nearly 8mths and I remember thinking that things were panning out quite nicely.

Obviously there are still hellish days now (DD now 13mths and DS 2.8) but mainly because DD is a rubbish sleeper and I am permamently exhausted.

It will get better, I promise. DS is almost word perfect on most of the theme tunes and songs on cbeebies but hey ho.

Don't know if i'll be much help but I am due March and DD1 will be 18 months old, I really panicked about how I'd cope but had a lot of folk telling me that it'll be fine, they'll be great friends etc.

My mum had 18 months between me and my brother and then between my sister and I and my other friend had 17 months between her two boys. they have both set me straight realistically.

The first year, apparently, will be the hardest, but especially from 6 - 12 moths but once DC2 is old enough to play with DC1 it gets so much easier.

My friend was a single mother from one month after birth of DS2 so I have a lot of respect for her, but they are 4 and 5 now and she said it is so easy as they are almost at the same developmental stage so not having to entertain a 5yo and 2yo for example.

I actually feel less panicked from being told the truth! I am really worried as DP will need to work long hours to make ends meet but I am hoping to get to a playgroup with them so I don't feel so alone!

What I am trying to say, is don't worry, it will get easier! Also don't worry about DD1, she isn't taking a preference, just gaining independence and taking liberties, she'll be smart and playing to your weaknesses!

You can only do what you can and what you're doing sounds plenty!

Try not to worry and just enjoy the chaos, that's what I'm hoping to do!!

I had 2 under 2 also ...I think after a while euphoria wears off and you do get tired around this time- i know it was my most tired time too.Dont worry ,it will get better im sure then they will like similar things developmentally at same time such as toys ,trips etc and it will become easier- ive lots of photos of them toddling around on holiday for eg content with ice cream etc rather than having to do one thing with one and another thing with another...this close age thing applies still for some things despite v different intrests, now - and they are 11 and 12.all the bestx

playgroup only once a week?? no wonder it's doing your head in. I had to spend my entire life outside the house for the first 3 or 4 years just to function. it is the relentless monotony and lack of adult contact that really gets me down so I have to escape - we have children's centres near us and I practically lived in them (you can even get your lunch there) with the 2 kids. it was great though - all the songs/art/crafts stuff. younger one can just tag along til they're at least 1 - don't feel a need to do any special entertaining of baby and concentrate on the toddler would be my main advice tbh