Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Please reassure me I'll be able to cope with a 15 month age gap between DC1 and DC2

21 replies

addictedtodollymixtures · 01/12/2009 18:18

I've just found out I'm pregnant again and my DD is 7 months. This was planned - I have had fertility problems in the past and so we decided to start trying for no 2 when DD was 6 months, not expecting it to work straight away! I know it's early days so who knows what will happen, but although I'm over the moon, I'm also petrified at the prospect of 2...but then I probably would have been whatever the age gap. Anyone able to give me some positive stories on having children close together?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StealthPolarBear · 01/12/2009 18:21

no experience but congratulations

StealthPolarBear · 01/12/2009 20:43

bump, how can I have killed this thread??

hormonesnomore · 01/12/2009 20:56

My 2nd & 3rd DCs (DS & DD2) were born 16 months apart. I found that it was easier to treat them both as babies & not to expect my older one to be 'grown up'. It wasn't too hard to have 2 in nappies (and I used washables). I used to put the LO in a sling & her big brother in his buggy when we went out & had a twin buggy for when they were a bit older - it got very heavy to push & I had to make my DS walk when he was 2.5. I managed to co-ordinate nap times and gave my DS lots of attention while I was breast feeding his baby sister and when a bit older, they played together really well with very little jealousy.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

hormonesnomore · 01/12/2009 21:00

BTW, addicted I was the same, fertility-wise - took 2 years+ to conceive DS, but got pregnant with DD2 by mistake right away!

midnightexpress · 01/12/2009 21:03

Mine are 14 months apart. Not exactly intentionally , but now it's fantabulous (they are just 4 and nearly 3). Exhausting, but wonderful. They are the best of friends, interested in the same things (both boys) and we're past the nappies and sleepless nights. They have such a hoot together.

Also, we never had any problems with jealousy, as ds1 was too small to really clock much about what was going on at the time.

It's not so bad as you might think. If you don't have a bigger gap to compare it with, you just sort of get on with it really and don't imagine how much easier it would be with a bigger gap. TBH, the whole newborn thing is a bit of a blur. The main problem I found was that by the time ds2 was born I felt like I'd been pregnant for years, which was a bit tedious.

PositivelyFestive · 01/12/2009 21:17

We had 15 months between our eldest two and I loved it! Hard work, but so worth it. We had two girls who grew up together. Went on to have another three, so five with less than 6 years between eldest and youngest! Loved it while they were younger. Have to admit that 4 hormonal teenage girls (+1 boy)at the same time has been far more trying, but then the teenage years won't all last forever.

Good luck and congratulations.

Just want to add that none of ours ever had a problem with jealous feelings about a new baby, they just accepted that another one was there to be loved and cuddled.

Winterfrost · 01/12/2009 21:18

addicted.. just seen your post. I have a similar-ish thread except will be a 17m gap and am also terrified . It's what we wanted (to get pg with #2) so can't understand that now I am I am finding it hard to be delighted or happy, I am just worrying into the night about it all. I hope it changes.

Reading the positive stories here is helping but I feel like I have been selfish in getting pg (selfish to DD, selfish to work in that I have only recently returned). Mainly selfish to DD although I hope to think a sibling will be a blessing for her when she's older, I fought like cat and dog with my sister but as an adult I am so grateful I have a sister.

BrigitteBardot · 01/12/2009 21:20

I had an artificial insemination for DD1 after 4 years of trying. Got pregnant again when DD was 9 months as I didn't bother with contraception!
DS is now 16 month and it's been tough. But it starting to be great. They really play along together beautifully. I wouldn't have done it differently.

CarGirl · 01/12/2009 21:20

We have a 14 month gap between dc2 & 3 and I love it, I much prefer it to the 5.5 year and 2 year gap I have at either side.

midnightexpress · 01/12/2009 21:21

Thing is winterfrost, think about it from the perspective of your dc2, who will never have that time with just you and your dh/dp, and it seems less selfish, I think. And when you see them playing together it'll all make sense

Winterfrost · 01/12/2009 21:30

You're right, midnight - what she's never had she'll never miss as such whereas an older one might, maybe. She's an adaptable little thing anyway and loves other babies, plus DH is very hands on and we have family nearby who can help a bit.

It's so strange - when I have read about other people's pgs/BFPs I have felt so excited in thinking "that'll be us soon, hopefully!" and now it's happened so quick without actually trying it's like its happened beyond my control. Sounds stupid but almost too much of an easy win and I'll pay for it somehow (I'm rambling I know).

I just wish I had looked at that BFP and felt elated rather than deflated, initially.

ilove · 01/12/2009 21:33

I have 9.5 months between number 3 and 4, and it is hard but doable!

midnightexpress · 01/12/2009 21:36

Oh it'll all be fine

I was the same. We weren't planning to have a second so quickly, my dad had just died, dp was a student at the time, and then I found out I was pg - I was upside down, inside out and back to front.

And now I can't imagine it any other way.

Chaotica · 01/12/2009 21:45

You'll be fine. Congratulations, btw.

I have 17m between mine and they're great together (and I'm still here to tell the tale). They're 2 and 3 now and I can't imagine why you'd want a bigger age gap (no jealously is a really big plus for the small age gap).

Original poster

addictedtodollymixtures · 02/12/2009 10:00

Thanks all. Reading these messages after another sleepless night has made me feel so much better, if a little emotional! winterfrost, I could have written what you put word for word; I too feel guilty and selfish - mainly guilty to DD about whether I'll be able to be a good mother to her, both in my pregnancy and beyond. midnight - you've helped me see a different perspective - thank you.
Winter - we must relax and enjoy!

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 02/12/2009 10:08

" I too feel guilty and selfish - mainly guilty to DD about whether I'll be able to be a good mother to her, both in my pregnancy and beyond"

think you feel that whatever the gap, i certainly feel guilty about my 2 1/2 yo at the moment

leggybird · 02/12/2009 13:14

I have 13 months between DS 2 and DS3 and, yes, it was planned! Lots of people think they are twins and it certainly felt like it at times. There was one stage when I was virtually house bound becaue I was either feeding one or the other!!
I followed the Gina Ford routine with these 2 (after learning the hard way with my first!)and that really worked for me.
It is do-able, but it can be hard work at times. You will be fine x

PS there is a lady who work in the Boots store near me who has known both these 2 from birth and yet still asks me "how are the twins!".

ln1981 · 04/12/2009 14:44

there is 18months between ds1 and dd, and they are very close (also they are very good at fighting over nothing!).
ds1 loved/loves his wee sister dearly and he would dance about in front of her when she was tiny and make her laugh. its very hard work and you will be exhausted by about lunch time but its worth it in the end.

ajandjjmum · 04/12/2009 15:03

Ds is 15 months older than dd - it was hard at first - felt a bit like a conveyor belt.

Brilliant though to have them interested in similar things at the same point.

Now they're teenagers the interest seems to be in each others friends!

mrsmindcontrol · 04/12/2009 17:51

I have 14 months between DS1 and (unplanned) DS2. DS1 was incredibly high maintenance and was not sleeping through the night by the time DS2 was born. In fact, he was waking up every hour or so. Spent most of my second pregnancy dreading DS2's arrival.

I won't say it hasn't been hard. It has, it's been very hard but I supsect a lot of that was because I expected DS1 to be too grown up and really didn't give him a chance to be a baby (which is really what he still was when DS2 was born).

Although my boys undoubtedly adore eachother, they fight a LOT and I can only leave them alone together if they are absorbed in the TV otherwise all hell breaks loose. DS2 is still only 2.5 so I'm hoping things will improve in a year or so!

I am currently preg with DC2 and DS1 will be 4 and DS2 3 when this one arrives. Then I suspect I will have jealousy etc to deal with. The impression I get from my friends is that there is no ideal age gap.

My one piece of advice to you (and take it from a woman who is currently suffering from a hideous coughing virus)... DO YOUR PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES!!

mrsmindcontrol · 04/12/2009 17:53

Whoops, meant I am curretly preg with DC3.
Oh, and don't forget those pelvic floor exercises!

Flip