Getting kids to eat more....OPINIONS PLEASE!!

[SpawnChorus]

DD (4) is an absolutely terrible eater. She's now right down at the bottom of the centile charts.

What do you think of:

a) not letting her leave the table until she's eaten all/most of her (small) meal.

b) telling her that she if she leaves the food it will be given to her at the next meal.

Thanks

i always thought that was true also... maybe its true of babies but not children once they get to the stubborn/knowing what they don't like stage

if its your dh suggesting this, will he be prepared to implement it? leaving you less stressed?

"you just make her sit there until she eats it all, no need to get stressed."

You have NO idea how frustrating that sort of comment is!

She will usually eat bread (with nothing on it), and pasta with pesto sauce (in tiny quantities), and a small helping of Shreddies at breakfast, and bananas. That's about it.

I think 'just' making her sit there until she eats it all will do nothing other than make everyone stressed tbh.

DS went through a not eating thing too

I didn't do either tactic, but rather took the food away and didn't give him anything (at all) til the next meal time... whether it was from dinner to breakfast or throughout the day.

He was skinny; still is - but it was necessary to save my sanity and take the fighting out of it all!

Good ideas on getting her to help with the cooking and giving her frequent snacks.

It could be a control thing - if she thinks it winds you up, she may do it to feel in control.

Or it could just be that she's not a big eater - my friend and my cousin's boys were both like this when they were small. They were very skinny, but didn't starve themselves to death I'm pretty sure they weren't doing it to be difficult, and they also would only eat a couple of crisps out of a bag, etc.

There's nothing wrong with serving it up again as long as it's not as a punichment. But why not just give a much smaller portion in the first place?

sorry, wasn't trying to be frustrating, i'm just a very laid back person so things don't bother me so much. i believe if you don't get stressed its no problem. my dd has sat at the table for hours before now... was i stressed? no, i haven't got time to be

just carry on giving her bits of what she likes, maybe offer it more often as snacks throughout the day to try and get her to eat more that way

i wasn't trying to say you shouldn't be bothered about her eating, obviously its worrying you, i just meant try not to stress about it at the time its happening because she will pick up on it

I hate the idea of forcing children to eat, by whatever means.

DS was a TERRIBLE eater for a long time, (fussy, faddy and also only ate tiny quantities) and was small and skinny and on a v low centile. But within that great range of centiles, some kids will naturally be on it! It's if they're OFF the centiles that there is a problem, and the idea isn't to get each kid as close to the middle line as poss!

I did stop DS running around and getting up and down - I was firm about him staying put at the table, and we did a sticker chart for that. But while he was there, I didn't pressurise him to eat, and made sure that he had food that h liked. I have never made a holy grail of pudding. Mostly we have not had it at all, and if we have I have never made it a reward for eating other food. In fact once, DS was eating spag bol, spotted some choc buttons, mithered for them, and to the horror of another parent present, i gave him one, put them out of sight, he ate it, and then went on with his dinner. Neither have I made any song and dance about not having chocolate or sweets. If we fancy some, we have a reasonable ampunt and enjoy it without comment.

After eating a v small range of food between 2 and 4.5, DS, now 8, still has quirky fads, is suspicious of fruit and veg, but otherwise is an adventurous and enthusiastic eater. Still v small, but that's hi, and that's WHY he doesn't eat great big platefuls of food!

We have started not stressing and ignoring everything since we tried those 2 options and it didn't help at all.

DD2 is so stubborn (she is 2.2) she would just scream and tantrum, every time.
Eventually we snapped one night and put her to bed after a 20 minute tantrum (she was overtired as well)
She just Would Not Eat.
Pointless keeping food for next meal as she woulnd't eat that either.
I feed her things I know she will eat alternated with stuff she might not so I know she eats properly every few days.

At meals I make it and dish it so their's cools down, I am trying to do thigns that can go in bowls to serve yourself but not that organised.
I put plates out.
If she eats it, fine. She might get yoghurt or fruit if they have behaved well over the day.
If she doesn't eat it, fine. She sits with us until we are finished and then gets down.
Whining is ignored or responded with 'I can't understand when you talk like that, talk properly please'$
If she screams, wails, throws food she gets sent to her room to calm down (had to use this 3 times, each time she has fallen asleep after 5 minutes)

Tonight she didn't want tea so she picked up her plate and handed it to me saying 'all finished mummy'
I said thank you and put it down next to my plate, carried on eating while she had water.
No milk, no snack.

It has the bonus of having scared the crap out of DD1 who now eats a bit of everything happily.

"sorry, wasn't trying to be frustrating, i'm just a very laid back person so things don't bother me so much. i believe if you don't get stressed its no problem. my dd has sat at the table for hours before now... was i stressed? no, i haven't got time to be "

But you have the time to make her sit at the table for hours? Wasn't your daughter stressed? I do honestly think it is completely the wrong thing for the OP to do.

PS I agree with Blu - dont make some foods 'good' and others 'bad. Ds is fussy btu to be fair he is as likely to eat grated carrot for example as he is a chocolate button

no she was happily sat there not eating and singing songs instead.
she was going through a 'i don't like food i did like before stage' she's out of it now

you only stress the child out if you shout, threaten or force them, she ate in her own time in the end quite happily, it did take a while but it was just a phase (luckily)

Please dont use either of those options.IMO if you upset your dd by using these methods, your desire to want her to eat more could backfire.Being upset and stressed will not make her eat, and will also leave you both stressed as well.
My youngest dd-almost 4 eats hardly anything-she is just not interested in food.She is tall and skinny, but still has plenty of energy and is healthy apart from usual colds.As long as she stays this way, I try not to worry too much. Some days she will eat cereal or dry toast, some days, a suasage roll.She is offered what we are having, and also fruit.The only thing she truly enjoys is fishfingers-and the first time she cleared her plate i could have wept.
Let her eat anything she will-even if its only bread and biscuits and chocolate buttons-she will survive, and wont see food as a threat. Let her drink milk/milkshakes.
Please dont worry-it will get better. My dd has started to at least try new foods at snack time at nursery.
Keep smiling, and tell your dh to do the same. Good Luck.

My son was the same, I try to be relaxed and just remember he doesn't necessarily have to eat like adults. i.e. at every meal.

The only thing I have found that has helped was making one meal for all of us and EVERYONE sitting at the table and eating it. No special comments, but he wants to eat what we do and so he has started to put on weight. It has taken a while though.

If he says he doesn't want to eat or wants to get down; after he has tried something i let him. Eating and potty training are areas that are hard to control.

He also tends to eat beige food!! So I try to keep it plainer for him.

I had huge eating issues as a child - a massive fuss was made at each meal and I hated it. I grew up and had an eating disorder as a teen and still have issues now. I would make as little fuss as possible.

I'd like to know how you get a child to sit at the table for hours singing songs without them wanting to get down, esp when they don't want to eat!!!

please do tell

DS1 is normally a fantastic eater but we had a couple of months at the beginning of this year when he refused to eat. Initially I was totally stressed and mealtimes became a battle ground

I was adamant we weren't going to give in an just let him have biscuits.

Initially I tried to relax as I found the more stressed I was, the less DS1 would eat. We had a deal that if he had one mouthful, I was happy.

I think the big breakthough was not putting a plate in front of him and letting him eat off my plate. There was no pressure for him to eat a set portion and he just picked (usually on the veg) off my plate.

Am not saying that this is in any way a brilliant option but it worked for us. DS1 will still have "picky" days when he just wants my plate and we swap plates so I get his and him mine.

HTH

Exercise. I am convinced the reason DS will eat lots of anything at all is that he runs and runs and runs and runs. Hence his body sees fuel and overrides any thoughts of what it might taste like.