Feel like such a beta mummy - what should I be doing with DD?

[whattheheck]

Have an adorable DD but feel I am failing her as a mother in all sorts of ways. She's a very easygoing baby but I am a first time mum and I don't know what I should be doing. Have lots of confident friends with kids and NCT mummies who seem far more clued up.
I didn't realise I should be giving her blocks to stack or should have been imitating animals so she would do that back. She's a lovely little girl - but I feel bad that I am failing her by not knowing what toys are right for what age or what games to play. We end up just doing nursery rhymes and stuff.
We don't live near a zoo or a park where you feed the ducks or anything. I went to lunch with two mummy friends today and came home feeling like rubbish.
Maybe just end of long week. I don't know....

How old is she? She won't get a huge amount out of a zoo visit if she's only four months old, for example, so I wouldn't worry. And don't forget you have the whole of her childhood to do things like that. Nursery rhymes are great IMO, so you're definitely on the right track.

I found that the What to Expect... the First Year had a lot of good suggestions about what you can do with babies at what age.

Anyway, it sounds like you're doing fine so I wouldn't worry too much about what your friends are up to. Hope that helps!

God, don't worry yourself.
ALl your baby needs is interaction - you chatting to her, spending time with her, going for strolls, even a visit to a coffee shop and pals. Plenty stimulation for a young baby.
Some people go in for constructed activities when it is not necessary tbh. Babies don't need all that stuff and you do not need to find out what developmental stage she is at. Nursery rhymes are wonderful.
Sounds like you are doing a fine job.
Ignore your more competitive friends.

If you're happy and your baby is happy, that's all that matters. She does not need to be learning animal noises or stacking blocks. You can always do that with her if it amuses both of you, but it isn't as if it has any practical application really! She will still develop in the same way regardless. Just have fun and don't worry about it.

Pleeese don't feel bad. Your friends probably came away from the lunch feeling just as inadequate. Everyone is screaming inside, especially every new mother. I bet you are doing brilliantly. All your baby needs is your loving care. Bugger the zoo and bugger the stacking blocks.

Ignore ignore ignore.

I wasted lots of time with dd worrying about stimulating her, having appropriate toys for her development stage blah blah. I should have just trusted my instincts a bit more.

She loves you - your face and your voice is the most interesting thing she knows. Nursery rhymes plus cuddles sound exactly right to me.

Your baby just needs to be listening and interacting with you. Taking her with you on your normal daily routine walks, coffees, shopping, looking at books is absoloutley fine.

The happier you are (sounds like you have a great social network) the more contented your child will be. Am sure all the other mums actually feel like you do. I certainly did with DS1.

Singing, readling and just general conversation will help her language development and be a brilliant and fun start for her.

What you should be doing is relaxing, enjoying the time you have with her and ignoring people who have already signed their children up for baby chinese/maths/violin.

There are plenty of resources about play and activities if you want to look into them but it's not necessary by any means! Do what comes naturally to you and if you hear an idea that you like then pinch it Most people don't have an inbuilt knowledge of what babies do and what to do with them when they become a parent. They learn it: from other people who've had children, from books, from places like MN and from experience.

thanks so much for the comments (particularly the bugger the stacking blocks ). I just felt really bad today because she's such a little doll and I don't want to let her down...I'm just not very good unless someone suggests something - otherwise i tend to do the same old thing again and again and fear waking up and she's seven and we are still doing nothing but singing see saw margery daw

She'll let you know she's bored of the nursery rhymes before then. Just plagiarise other people's ideas if you like them. Bet they're wishing they'd thought of singing nursery rhymes and looking them up on the internet right now!

frakkinaround...
pesto and advice on activities - i owe you