How do you cope with your higly sensitive child?

[wintersucks]

I've been readling Elizabeth Aron's book and have realised that DS2 (nearly 3) fits most of the criteria for being an HSC. He cries an awful lot for a child of his age and just gets distressed so easily. Does anyone else have a child like this? How do you deal with it?I really need tips for coping as at the moment, I seem to veer between getting really angry with him and feeling terribly guilty.

Don't get angry he can't help it (I know it's hard not too). Don't try to change him and don't force him into situations that he's uncomfortable with.

I have a child with sn who is highly sensitive. We jsut have to be careful what we expose him to, and give him space to deal with things. He cries at the drop of a hat, and he is 7 now. He prefers to be left to calm himself down and so we send him off to wash his face to give him the space to compose himself.

I think you do have to learn to accept it too, and try to be patient! I know what you mean though, my dh finds it very hard to deal with and gets cross with him.

Poor you - and your DS. Could it be partly due to his age as he realises he's an individual. Confusion made my DD very anxious as a child. once I started explaining everything in detail (as if pre-empting a "why") she coped better and was calmer. hope that helps

I have found that DS needs advance warning of everything we are doing, can not spring anything on him.
As long as everything is explained to him then he can cope with it.

Chopstheduck do you mind me asking what kind of SN your son has? I only ask because DS2's behaviour is sometime so extreme that I worry he may have something "wrong" with him. Iris66, I'm hoping a lot of it is age-related, as he has a lot of tantrums (just like others of his age). But what's different about him is that he can be completely happy one second then the smallest thing can send him into hysterical wailing that can last for up to ann hour sometimes. At the moment this is happening anything up to 10 times a day (obviously not always lasting an hour!)

my nt four year old still does that, I really do think the up and down, and tantums is very normal for this age. It may seem small to you, but to a 2 year old, it can easily be extremely important.

ds1 has dyspraxia, hypermobility syndrome, muscular skeletal problem undiagnosed and is about to be diagnosed with autism. He gets very frustrated!

Thanks for sharing that chopstheduck, I hope things work out well wtih ds1. I have considered that ds2 may be on the aspergers spectrum, but than he CAN be so sociable that Im not sure... I agree the up and down tantrums is normal at 2 - DS1 also had terrible tantrums at this age, but not half as frequently. I just need to find ways of staying calm with him and helping him through it.

My DD has Aspergers but is very sociable.

Cocolepew, that's interesting, how does her aspergers display?

MY DS2 has severe autism but is very sociable.

Obsessions, strict routine, inability to lie (her sister makes up for that), immature for her age but bright as a button, remembers obscure dates, taste and texture sensitive, sensitive to noise.

Sorry hit post too soon, she loves to be around people and have friends. She puts herself out of her cocomfort zone as well, ie netball club, school counsel etc.

Cocolepew, thanks for that, that's really interesting. DS2 is still only 2, but is definitely sensitive to textures, noise etc, he's also obsesseive about things (but then so was his brother at this age)and is extremely bright - was talking in sentences before 2. How old was DD when she was diagnosed? And to what degree does it affect her daily life? Sorry to quiz you!

We don't have a formal dx of Aspergers, she has another medical condition and the 2 are linked. Unfortunately she is having a very hard time,emotionally, at the moment andd is starting to see a therapist on Monday. She is having very disturbing thoughts and visions and she needs techiniques to rid herself of them and to cope with keeping them away. They are going to test her for ASD on a more formal level. It really manifests itself as being an anxious child, she needs a lot of reassurane, even though she doesn't really do hugs and kisses.

She's scared of balloons, dogs, fire and loud noises. She hates not knowing what is going to happen. I say she's scared of the known, she knows a balloon might pop/a dog might bark or jump and she will be scared. She's incredibly pessimistic and always thinks the worst is going to happen, she has self esteem issues.

These are the bad points she has good ones in abundance

Cocolepew, thanks yet again for sharing all that about DD, it has really helped. I hope the therapy helps her. I will be watching DS to see if he shows any more signs, though I think he is a bit young to know for sure. Leningrad, thank you also for your really supportive post. I agree about people thinking it's my parenting style - he finds playgroups and lots of people fussing round him very difficult to deal with, though people always assume a crying child wants toys shaking in their faces! I think I need to be more assertive about protecting him from that and also just be more reassuring and calmer around him in general. Easier said than done! He has become much worse in the last couple of months, so I'm hoping we're hitting the peak soon and it may get better.