10yo DS w/ low self esteem

[BrokenArm]

Subtitle: Peer pressure, toy envy, being "unpopular" & all that.

His best mate is in wealthy family who spend more on their DC than we do -- fine by me, except DS compares & complains bitterly.
Complains bitterly that he hasn't every console game player like "All my friends".
Seems 2 only adopt interest that his friends brag about, & then moans about not being able 2 best them at said interest.
Flat out refuses 2 do any extracurric activities (&I dont have energy 2 'make' him go).
Complains a lot "I'm not very popular".
Everything embarasses him.
Hates school due 2 all of above.

I know it's an underlying self-esteem issue making the rest of his life unsatisfactory, but I don't know how 2 tackle it.

I tell DC constantly that it's fine 2 b their own person, 2 like whatever they like. Msg gets thru fine w/ DD, but not DS1.

Thoughts?

How much independence does he have? Can you give him more?

Is it shyness which is underneath all this?

Could you set him other challenges (without him realising what you're doing even)?

Like make him responsible for the care and feeding of the dog/cat/goldfish.

Get him to queue and pay for the cinema tickets while you are reading the paper nearby.

Get him to go into the supermarket to choose and pay for the pizzas for the dc's special dinner, while you are waiting in the car park.

The idea is to give him a small feeling of control, to feel good about himself. I think kids start to need that at around 10.

Keep looking for stuff he might find interesting.

Invite different friends over, take them ten pin bowling or something totally different to what the "wealthy" ones do.

Apologies in advance if you've tried all these!

I think he has more independence than most of his peers already, but good food 4 thought,
Ta 4 reply.