Moving DD from cot into bed. Help...

[lola0109]

Hi all,

I've changed DD's cotbed into the bed and have been trying to get her to sleep in it for over a week now.

She is 15 months old and I'm 22 weeks pregnant so wanted to get her used to bed before new baby arrives as I don't want too much of an upheaval at the one time.

The problem is, and I know this is all our own doing, she has never went to sleep on her own before and we've been getting her to sleep in our bed then transferring her into her cot only to bring her back in at around 4am every morning.

DP is a student so studies, goes on placements and works part time and I am working full time so we are both really tired but the past week we've been really disciplined and when she is waking at night we are staying in her room with her to settle her back down.

The biggest problem is actually getting her to sleep and its taking about 2 hours! She is only wanting to play but it takes all the patience I can muster not to throw her against the wall. (I have NEVER done this).

I can't do the controlled crying so any other tips on how to get her to sleep would be greatly appreciated!

Try Supernanny's thing.

Take to bed and leave room, then keep taking back. If she's just playing and not screaming then it sholdnt become CC?

We have just moved DD to a bed from a cot over the weekend. She is 2.

Her room is completely tooddler safe, so we have decided to just leave her to it in the evening. She is playing for about an hour before getting into bed (with loads of toys) but we are hoping this is because it is still a novelty.

I know others will disagree with me, but i felt that DD is only just old enough now, and she is quite precocious. There was no way i could have got her to settle in a bed at 15months.

I've tried that whilst in the room, sitting on a chair on the other side of the room. If she gets up I take her back to bed, she seems quite happy sitting on the bed playing, but the minute I leave the room she screams blue murder, but doesn't try coming out of the room.

The problem is she screams so much she starts almost choking, that's the thing that worries me.

Maybe its just going to take her time to get used to it.

sorry x posted. We tried the supernanny thing.

I think she is also slightly too young but tbh she was mostly sleeping in our bed anyway so its more trying to get her to sleep in her own bed rather than transferring her from cot to bed.

I wonder if I should leave her in her room to play then after a bath and I can potter about upstairs, probably get some ironing done and see if the novelty of the new room wears off.

Does she still nap?
It might be worth tackling it during nap time?
OR take her up when she doesn't HAVE to go to bed and spend some time pottering around upstairs while she plays.

BTW, DD (22 months) is going to be going through this before xmas for the same reasons as you so I'm gonna keep watching your thread just in case someone gets a great brainwave!

I work full time so she only really naps at home on the weekends and even then its usually in her buggy or in the car seat as I'm out getting shopping/visiting DGPs etc.

I'm cutting my hours after xmas though so we will be at home together more so hopefully I can tackle it then at nap times, but then thats 5/6 weeks away!

Well, luckysalem, for both our sakes I hope someone has a miracle idea.

DC2 was a surprise and we hadn't planned it so quickly but I feel DD has to make a lot of adjustments. I feel that she is probably at an age that we can start introducing (very slowly) potty training and she also still has a dummy that we were trying to wean her off, but I just feel we're either rushing her too much before DD2 arrives or we won't be able to spend as much time on these things after DD2 arrives.

We're potty training now but not to the extent that I would if she was older.

She was starting to show signs of being ready to potty train so we tried and so far although we do get the odd accidents she's near enough dry all day. I just need her to understand that she has to pull her knickers down first!!

I hope someone gets an idea cos I'm outta em for now! lol

Lola - I know the thought of DD2 arriving is scary, but please don't pressurise your DD1 to grow up too quickly.

I fully understand why you want to get the sleep issue sorted,and I think it's sensible to tackle this now, but surely things like potty training and ditching the dummy can wait?

I understand the pressure, I had two under two too (what a lot of 2's) but having another baby doesn't mean that you will have no time at all for your your DD1. I potty trained DS1 at 27 months, when Ds2 was 5 momths and it was fine. A few hairy moments whe Ds2 was yanked off the boob and flung to one side, 'cos Ds1 announced he needed a wee but nothing I couldn't handle.

She's still a baby, let her be one for a bit longer yet

Jojay - I know have a hilarious image in my mind of baby being yanked off boob!! LMAO!!

Poor DS2 didn't think it was hilarious!! But he forgave me

And don't even go there with the image of me trying to pull down Ds1's pants with my boobs hanging out........

No I imagine he didn't but I just can't help but LOL everytime I read that message! lol

We put DD1 into her bed at 21 months -two weeks before DD2 arrived -not what you're supposed to do! But she was fine, I think because she was in a really good sleep routine.
Would it be worthwhile trying to get her settled in a good sleep routine overnight in the familiar environment of her cot then move her to her bed once she's been sleeping in her cot all night for a while?
i worried that because we had left it so late before DD2 arrived that DD1 would be jealous of her sister having her cot but because DD2 was in the moses basket for 3 months DD1 didn't seem to make the connection.
It was getting her to move from sleeping in a grobag to having a duvet that gave us problems!

15 months seems way too young for a bed to me - unless you're wanting to use the cot for the new baby? dd was 3 and it went v smoothly - what's the rush?

sounds like the sleeping is a separate issue - and i think that's the one i would tackle first.

what time do you start trying to put her to bed? can you shift that back at all so that she's more tired?

am not a routine person at all, but i do think bedtime needs some definite sequence so that they start winding down? bath time, milk, 2 stories, 2 songs - whatever works for you?

I have to agree with gladders, 15 months seems very young to go into a bed, and it sounds as if you're trying to enforce too many changes on your DD at once, to me, lola. Calm down a bit!

As another poster said, don't try to force her to grow up too quickly. I'd make a list of issues to tackle and do them one at a time. Potty training at 15 months is WAY too soon for a start!! And dummy isn't really a life or death issue. I'd start with getting your DD into a sleep routine where she goes to sleep on her own. Give it a couple of weeks then maybe move her into a bed, and give that a month before trying anything else.

If you try to get her to make too many changes at once you'll only end up with a very unhappy DD and issues further down the line so take your time - you've still got 18 weeks to go before you're due, that's ages!!

I'm afraid I also agree with gladder. It does seem very very young. DS1 was not in a bed until nearly 3 and at 15 months was still well and truly being zipped up into grobags every night!! For a start I would have been terrified that if he had got up in the night what on earth might he have got up to? They are still only babies at that age.

To be honest the longer you can keep them contained in a cot the better IMO. We were lucky though that DS1 never tried to get out of his cot so we did not have the worry of falling over the bars.

By the time they are 3 they like the idea of bing a big boy or girls and we found it was easy as pie. He loved his bed.

I am sorry this is not probably what you want to hear but sometimes you just can't rush these things for your own convenience.

Hope it sorts itself out

I probably didn't put my point across very well last night, i was in a bit of a tizz after taking 2 hours to get DD to sleep and to top it off I missed the X factor

Seriously though, after all the hassle getting her to sleep she slept the whjole night in her cot, wee angel that she is.

I do agree that 15 months is very early but we had issues with her sleeping in her cot anyway and she would NEVER settle in her cot, it was always in our bed. So we thought why have the hassle of settling her in her cot when it distresses her so much when we could try a bed. so thats what we're doing. As i said she is fine if we are in the room but the minute we leave she is in hysterics so someone has to be in the room to settle her. I just feel if we left the bed thing till later she might connect it with new baby and it might cause problems. We want to have her settled well before baby arrives.

Tonight, took only 15 minutes!! She is sleeping soundly just now! But no two nights are the same and I'm not sure I'm taking the right approach. Funnily enough I think its the grobag vs duvet that might be the issue?

Just to clarify, I'm not potty training or trying to get rid of the dummy yet but I feel that with new baby coming that these things might happen later than they possibly should and that we will hinder her development.

As i think I said previously DC2 was a surprise, after taking so long to conceive DD we were not prepared! I think it has unsettled me slighlty as everything I had planned for DD has now had to be adjusted. That sounds terrible doesn't it!!??

But the cot thing, i'm going to stick with the bed as she actually sleeps longer in the bed than she ever has in her cot. it's just the going to sleep. We do try to stick loosely to a routine, bath, milk, story then bed between 7pm and 8pm but we gauge the time on how tired she seems.

Thanks for all the comments so far. I'm just a bit frazzled by the whole thing!

that's great that DD has settled quicker tonight - I see where you are coming from re her settling better in bed than in her cot - as long as her room is completely safe should she get out of her bed.
we put DD2 into her bed at 19 months and she was no problem at all. She had a toddler bed with the guard rails half way along so she couldn't fall out.
I mentioned before that we had more trouble getting rid of the grobags - we actually let DD1 stay in them when she went into her bed initially because I felt it was too much change all at once. It was quite a while until she would sleep under a duvet.

lola I wouldn't worry about hindering her development - she'll be ready for potty training when she's able to pull her trousers up and down and recognise when she needs a wee, not before, and you can't plan for when that'll be. She'll let you know when she's ready!

I do sympathise as I'm 20 wks pregnant with DC2 and DS1 is 2yrs 3 months. I had a month or two in early pregnancy of panicking about DS1s development and when he'd go into a proper bed (he's currently in cot bed without sides) adn when to potty train etc, and if there's one thing I'm learning it's that he'll do those things, and others, when he's ready. You can't plan for it - you'll just have to go through it when it happens, and you'll juggle having a newborn / 3 month old / 6 month old with you while you do it just fine, I'm sure (as, I hope, will I!!)

If I can give you any advice at all, it's the advice I've been given myself - stop thinking about it all so much, and let things happen. They'll happen in their own time anyway, and worrying is not the same thing as preparation! Trust yourself and you'll be ready to give your DD the care she needs when she's ready to make the changes you're anticipating.

HTH - like I say, i do sympathise as am in the same boat but trying to plan it all just sends you insane, I think! Just go with it...!

lola - 15 minutes sounds better than 2 hours! well done you and your dd!

none of what anyone has said was meant to be a criticism btw....

i have a 22 month gap between mine - ds was still in a cot, in nappies and drinking milk from a bottle when dd was born. he is now a very bright and happy 5 year old (who sleeps in a bed, is toilet trained and hates milk!) - so i don't think you need worry about hindering your dd's develeopment by not having these things resolved before the second baby arrives?

it sounds like the bed transition will work out ok - but tbh i'd leave the others well alone for the moment? potty training really is much easier in the summer time anyway!

hello

I have to say with 2 under 2 I think you are trying to do way too much - none of this needs to be achieved before baby arrives and I think you need to do things at her pace. My dd1 is now 21 mo and i thought a couple of weeks ago she was interested in the potty but now not bothered so i will wait and try again in a couple of months. dd2 is 6 mo.

you will find the time when baby arrives as and when things need to happen.