Whats the best age gap?

[ChickandDuck]

I have DS1 who is 4 in March and DS2 who is 9mo, want another, not quite ready yet, but maybe when DS2 is about a year.

What do you think the best age gap between children is?

My mil's theory is when the last one is out of diapers, dry and independent .
There will ne 3.9 years between my two when this one is born next month. Very bizarrely the same between myself and my sister.

there is no perfect age gap though is there?

we have 22 months between ours and boy the first few months were hard work, but now they're 3 and 5 and they get along pretty well.

there was nearly 5 years between my sister and me. we never played together as children and are definitely not as close as some sisters we know with smaller age gaps.

for me, getting all the nappies, bottles and purees over in a short space time was the way forward - i feel i've done the hard work now and can enjoy them both.

I've heard alot of people say that having 18mo between children is the best, which would mean we need to get cracking now!

Gladders, I'm thinking that would work for us too, get the hard work out of the way. 3 years between my two and I feel like it was a bit too much of an age gap, only it's worked well as DS1 has started nursery so get to spend time alone with baby, that would be my only worry about having two close together.

I think all age gaps have thier pro's and con's.
Older, more independant etc, but younger, gets the sleeples night over quicker!

Im glad to hear that 22mths is ok as thats what I will have when this bump arrives!

26 months between mine and so far it seems to have worked really well. DD1 and DD2 seem to adore each other. DD2 is only 7 months so things will probably change!

23 mths between my two and I echo what gladders says ...... first couple of years were really hard work, but at 3 and 5, they play well together and I am really enjoying them.

Message withdrawn

3 years between mine, got the DS1 out of nappies whilst pregnant with DS2..
Brilliant for me

It is really a personal thing and there is no right gap - but if it is the friendship between the sibbling that you are thinking about that is also personal, my sis and I are very close and did play together and we have almost 4 years between us on the other hand my dh and his brothers have less of an age gap and are not close in anyway. Do what's best for you.

In my experience (27 month btw mine) having them fairly close in age (around 2 yrs) is really hard work for you at the begining - a toddler and newborn is FULL on (as you probably know), however in the long term they entertain each other and so is less work. I also like the fact that as a family we do things that they both enjoy and our family isn't split when we watch films or go places.

BUT (like you I am thinking of a 3rd), and I have decided 2 yr age gap means it's such hard work on me that I really didn't enjoy my baby second time around. So, this time I am going for the 3 yr gap. Hopefully it is the happy medium. One out of nappies, and going to pre-school and one that you can focus on for at least 3 hours a day!

I wanted 2 years but my body with it's shitty PCOS chose 4 years - it's actually a lovely age gap at the moment!

Shame you can't actually choose the age gap, it's up to your body, not you I'm afraid!

True fruitbatlings.

I think I'm also worring about DS1 being left out if these two are close together. I think I would prefer to get hard work out of the way then enjoy. (and I am especially broody at the mo, but that may be due to the fact I've jsut stopped bf)

How long is a piece of string ......

I would worry that with an 18 month gap, the younger one doesn't get enough time to be a baby. Mind you, my 2.7 gap, meant the baby came along right at the peak of toddler hell.

They get on very well now, though, and are close enough in age to be quite well-matched in terms of interests and abilities.

A bigger gap might have meant I was less frazzled for the first year or two, but then I got the sleepless bit over with. I couldn't go back to that now I've got used to sleeping again....