Advice needed re moving house with 3yr old

[WorkingStudentMummy]

We're moving house next Friday and due to a monumental cock up hiccup we'll be homeless living with my MiL and FiL for 6 oh god no weeks before moving into our new home. DD has just turned 3 and is showing a few signs of strain while we're boxing everything up despite our best efforts to explain that she'll soon have a nice new house with a garden, a bedroom she'll actually be able to open her cupboard doors without having to climb onto her bed to make space, etc.

Do MNers think that on the day we move when we pick her up from nursery it would be best to take her for a last look around her old house (hopefully then empty) and then to storage so she can see "her" stuff safely locked away, or shall we all just keep our mouths shut and go straight to Grandmas? (while she may be happy there for a day or two, at some point she IS going to notice that we've not gone "home"!!)

Any advice? Thanks all...

I gave ds (he was 4yo) a cheap disposible
camera for him to take photos of our old house just before he left. He liked that.

We did the same for our new house adn then got them developed so he could have the photos.

Don't know if this helps but we moved when DD was 3.5. We didn't take her back to see empty house - as felt this might be strange. We did make a big fuss on the move day - gave her bag of sweeties to hand around nursery - give to staff. She felt very special and still remembers it to this day (now 8) in a very jolly way.

No matter how much we explained it to her - she couldn't get her head round us boxing up things. Maybe taking her to storage might be good?

On the whole though - we explained everything we could, got lots of books to read together about moving. Talked about the benefits of new place -

Camera is a great idea -

Before the move - We took her loads to the new park, sweet shops - etc so she could familiarise herself with the area. Took her several times to see new flat before we moved in. We also let her choose colour of new 'big girl' bedroom - gave her things to look forward too. She got pretty excited about his new bedroom.

When we moved in - her bedroom was the first room we unpacked and got sorted.

Brilliant idea TheArmadillo!

I believe it's always better to tell children what is happening and help them with the loss/sadness rather than distracting them. (well, distraction IS useful at times of course, but it's about balance)

So, I like your idea OP. She may be upset, but that's normal.

Thanks for great suggestions - will do the camera thing and had also thought that seeing "her" house all empty might be more distressing than helpful.

Think I'm probably more concerned about the 6 week gap where all three of us (please don't let new baby arrive any sooner or it will be 4 of us!) in one bedroom. When we get to move into new place (just round the corner from old place so at least familiar and same nursery, etc) will make sure her room (and my hospital bag) are first things unpacked and let her pick some transfers to go on her walls, etc. Poor girl has a lot on her plate!

She has got a lot on her plate, but she's got a very sensitive, thoughtful mummy and that makes all the difference.
You've got a lot to cope with too. Hope it isn't too bad for you all.

We moved with a 3.5 yr old 3 months ago.

I'd go for the open and honest and explain everything approach. Yep, go back to empty house, or even if you can cope with it... take her out of nursery that day so she sees the packing and removal process. And KNOWS that you havn't left her toys behind, or binned them or sent it to wrong place ...

Are you using a removal firm? We did and it was very simple. The trucks arrived and DS was fascinated to see them park up and ramps set up etc. then I took him off for an hours or so fun stuff, back home in time to see his bedroom stuff carried out to truck, he was allowed to wheel his own bike up teh ramp , so was reassured it hadn't been forgotten. Fish and chip lunch in empty house, then off.
DH returned to empty house next day to do teh big clean.

Like may others we let boy chose something about his new room, wall stickers as its a short term rent. I gave him almost free rein on furniture placement and he had already decorated, with a garish selection of stickers, a cupboard for his new room ( old room MUCH smaller, no room for a cupboard).

Hi all,

Many thanks for your suggestions. We've actually started moving boxes out now (had yesterday off) and took DD along to see the self storage place... once she understood that our stuff was living there while we were living with Grandma and Daddan she got quite excited and as soon as we got home again packed up a chest of toys that are to go to their house for while we're staying there and chucked everything else into random boxes. Everything looking much brighter now and I've learnt valuable lesson - never leave half packed box and 3yr old unattended in the same room for 5 minutes!!

Gosh, maybe you are from my extended family.. .never seen any once else use daddan ( I used to spell it Daden) for a granfather. my Daden was at least teh 3rd generation to use that term.