When would you leave your oldest child in charge of your youngest at home?

[noonoo1966]

Hello all, I am after some opinions pls!! I have two sons aged 12 and 6 1/2. I have looked on the internet for guidelines regarding this and there is nothing set in stone.

I have previously left my eldest at home during the day for a maximum of 2 hours and he coped very well. Just did homework and watched TV, played computer games. He has a mobile phone, doesn't answer the door and we live in a close-nit and friendly neighbourhood so a neighbour would nornally be at hand if he needed but in the first instance he would call me 1st. I have also left them both together very briefly (approx 20 mins) while I dropped OH at a work do and they coped very well with that.

I am wondering at what stage you would go out for a couple of hours in an evening for say a bite to eat or the cinema (where I would have phone on in pocket on vibrate). The only time I would do it would be if my youngest was in bed - asleep - he fortunately is one of those kids that falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and hardly ever wakes up. If for some reason he did wake up, he would not be alarmed to just have his brother home and I would tell my eldest to keep him up til we got back. My eldest is keen for this to happen to earn some pocket money! we would only do it at a weekend so he could stay up til we got back as I know he wouldn't feel comfortable going to bed until we got in.

He is a sensible boy and I he would know what to do if there was an emergency.

I have read lots of people's opinions on here so would welcome any new ones!!

Thank you in advance!!

I left DD in charge of DS2 for the first time when she was about 14 and he was 6.
However I think DS2 will be about 21 before I leave him on his own

I was thinking of doing this soon.

Last week, however, some idiots tried to crowbar their way into my neighbour's house in the early evening.

It's made me think again.

Not sure what the guidelines are but I wouldn't personally leave a 12 year old in charge of a 6 year old in the evenings no matter how close at hand I was.

I have a 13.5 and 11 year old who let themselves in from school one night a week and are left for about an hour before I get home from work. They are also alone in the house in the morning three days a week for about 25 mins and they let themselves out put the alarm on and lock up the house.

I will quite happily leave the 13 year old at home while I am at work if she has a day off (her school holidays are longer than mine)

I go out to a dance class one night a week but they still go round to my mum's as I don't like them being in the house at night on their own.

My mum did this all the time, but there are 13 years from eldest to youngest, and it was 30 years ago.

Yes I think there's something different about the night isn't there? Not sure why really apart from the obvious perhaps like burglars etc.

I also wouldn't leave a 12 yr old alone at night with a 6 yr old. If there is an emergency I think it is that bit too young to know how to cope. 16 sounds to me to be about the age that you can expect them to be able to cope and with a level head.

I leave my 8 and 13 year olds alone together in the evening sometimes, They love it, and take great pride in being in bed and asleep before I get home.

BUT. They get on incredibly well and enjoy each other's company very much. 8 worships 13 and would no more dream of not doing what she said than fly! They are both very sensible, and have beed doing stuff like getting their own drinks and snacks for ages.

We also have neighbours on call in case of emergency.

So if the children and the circumstances fit, then do it. They will love it!

My dds are 13 and 11 and I've left them together for an hour or so during the day or evening.

I wouldn't leave them alone while I went out to eat or to the cinema. Dd2 wouldn't like that. I've only left them when I've been 5 minutes away in teh car.

I don't think I'd leave an older kid in a proper babysitting way until s/he was 14.

My DDs are 12, 9 and 7. I will happily leave the elder two for an hour or so during the day, but I wouldn't leave the 7 year old with them. She can be a little difficult and unpredictable and I think too much responsibility for a 12 year old.
At night - perhaps when the eldest is 14 and the youngest is 9, but only for an hour or two.

Depends on the time of night. Early evening, yes; late evening no. But that might be more to do with what I know my own ds would be happy with, rather than an absolute rule.

The other week I left my 6 year old son with my 14 year old sister for the day as I had to go into work, my son is no problem at all, worships the ground my sister walks on and my sister is very responsible so I had no worries leaving them.

I think it all depends on the children tbh, you know whether they are trustworthy or not xx

If you were going out in the evening I would say when your eldest is around 16 he would be capable of being left in charge. Having said that I was a paid babysitter from the age of 12 and regularly looked after lots of children until the early hours of the morning. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with that situation.