"It gets easier" When and How ?

[ashbrook]

Hi

I am a sahm to two dd's 3.5 and 1.10. There are days that I cannot imagine doing anything else and fully appreciate how lucky I am to be in this situation. Thats said there are plenty of days when I want to tear my hair out with the loneliness and boredom- all normal stuff I know. One thing I hear and read a lot is "it get easier" - so what exactly does that mean. DD1 is now at a stage where she is happy to play alone for a while -loves colouring and jog saws but dd2 is always interrupting her. I suppose what is driving this is we are thinking of no 3- there are days when I think this could be ok and then there are days where I think add in one more stress point and it will be divorce and nervous breakdowns. Is it the age of the eldest or the youngest that has the most influence on the calmness ( DD1 is on the active needs tons of direction end of the scale, dd2 not as high maintenance)

My head is wrecked thinking about this - so any insight would be gratefully received ;-)

A x

In three years time you will be able to say to them both "go and play upstairs and if I hear ANY fighting I will binliner all your toys!"

You seem to be struggling with the children you already have - so why would you want to add another into the mix?

from ages 6 to 11 are golden years IMO.

Can't really say much about having two (I'm pg with no 2 atm) but I noticed a huge difference in DS around his 4th birthday - he is much less likely to have a strop, can be so much more easily reasoned with, can entertain himself a lot and you can do deals with him, eg I will play with him if he waits until I've done housework, etc. He understands a lot more about other people's feelings and can be genuinely helpful and I think that does make it easier.

We are planning to give him a bigger bedroom and let him have his toys in there so he can have privacy and not be bothered by little sibling if he doesn't want to be. It can't be nice being constantly interrupted and families I know with 2 DC seem to have to deal with a lot of fighting / frustrated older one whacking annoying little one etc. (That's one reason I'm glad we will have a bigger age gap.)

Oh and as for the loneliness and boredom - I'm only part-time SAHM - I think I would go mad if I didn't have the headspace I get from working. If I were you I'd maybe leave DC3 for another couple of years (if you have the luxury of time?) and look for a part-time job.

Hi

To be honest- we don't really have loads of time- I am 36 and Dh is 45and with DD1 and DD2 being so close in age, I don't want no 3 to feel left out.. Don't get me wrong, it's gotten much better and they are great pals- just been a bad patch with Dh work commitments, Swine Flu etc)-