Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Come and tell me what you do about siblings being allowed / not allowed in each other's room. At my wits end....

7 replies

claricebean · 13/11/2009 14:59

I have four DC. Eldest two, DD1 (9) and DD2 (7), share a room, as do the youngest two DS (4) and DD3 (2). All works well at night time. However.... there is a constant afternoon battle between DS and the older 2. He wants to play in their room with them. They say no. On the one hand, I think it is fair enough that they want to have their privacy away from their pesky younger siblings. But they don't usually apply the rule to DD3. So we get the likes of yesterday where DD2 spent an hour designing a beautiful poster for her door saying "Girls only".

DS is the only one of my kids who is completely incapable of amusing himself (unless there is a screen involved), so he takes it all particularly badly. There are also times when DD1 says he can come in and DD2 says not.

DD3 remains largely oblivious to all rules and pretty much does what she pleases. So far she has more or less been given a free rein by her sisters to come in and out because they know policing a rule where she's not allowed in will be more work than it's worth.

So what happens in your house? Should everyone have the right to refuse whichever siblings they choose? Or should it be a blanket welcome or refusal? And what if there are differences of opinions between room sharers? All experiences gratefully received.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
claricebean · 13/11/2009 15:01

wits wit's.
As you were.

OP posts:
Fennel · 13/11/2009 15:07

We have 3 girls (and sonme cousins who almost count as siblings, they are here several times a week). We have a rule that each dd can have privacy in their own room. But that they aren't allowed to systematically leave anyone out. So they can't have "no boys" or "no under 7s" rules. But they can retreat to some privacy away from the flood of younger irritating children.

it works OK in the daytime. at night the only problem is dd3 hates sleeping alone and her sisters don't want her in with them. but that's a different issue.

I know it's very important to my eldest to have space from the 4 little cousins and sisters, she gets a bit frantic when she doesn't get space away from them all (she goes feral, starts snarling or hitting).

FabIsJustSoBusy · 13/11/2009 15:10

I think it is mean to not allow your ds in and it appears it is just because he is a boy.

Mine all have their own room but if they feel really strongly they can ask their siblings to leave their room. Obviously they don't consider how the other person feels when they want privacy.

dd, age 6, has written on her door Go away keep out, so we are not best pleased as it has really spoilt the door.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Booyhoo · 13/11/2009 15:16

this is a hard one, could you talk to the two older dd's and suggest that they allow everyone into their room but if they want privacy then they tell the other person that tey want privacy just at the minute but that they'll be able to come in another time.

i know it sounds good in theory but doesnt always work so well in practice.

also have a chat with ds and tell him the same.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/11/2009 15:17

No experience as a parent, but I grew up one of 3. We all had our own rooms, and you were allowed to exclude either both siblings or none. I couldn't let in one brother but not the other and vice versa.

Very mean of them to shut your DS out and let DD3 in and leave him on his own. It's unkind and if I was in your position I would come down firmly on it.

claricebean · 13/11/2009 17:40

Thanks for your replies. I think you are all right that excluding just one child is not on. In my daughters' defence DS can be REALLY annoying - he is at that shouty stage where his volume control is stuck permanently too high. But, nevertheless, it is unfair.

I have sat them all down (including the two year old ) and told them how it's going to be asked them to come up with a constructive solution. We have agreed that the older twos' bedroom is out of bounds unless both DD1 and DD2 invite the younger two in, and that inviting only one in is not an option. I am not sure how well it will work in practice, but we'll see. It would all be easier if they had a room each, I think, but that is not really an option right now.

Fab my commiserations about the door. Did she spell it correctly?? At least that could be a small consolation

OP posts:
FabIsJustSoBusy · 13/11/2009 17:48

Yes, she did she is a genius but a madam at times.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread