When you know that you have behaved worse than the children, what do you do?

[Chickenshavenolips]

My life is quite stressful at the moment, and this morning I behaved terribly towards my children. They were arguing (as usual) and my youngest (6) attacked the eldest (9). DS1 had to run down the stairs to get away from him. I completely lost it. I lifted DS2 up by the tops of his arms, marched up the stairs and dumped him on his bedroom floor. He fell backwards when I let go, but not from any distance. I shrieked like a harrian at the pair of them, and they were both crying. My reaction was completely out of line. DS1 was very quiet on the walk to school, and DS2 cried the whole way. I felt like joining in, tbh. I apologised for shouting and frightening them both, and I apologised to DS2 for handling him so appallingly. I now feel absolutely awful, as I should. When you know that you're in the wrong with your children, how do you make it up to them?

I don't think your behaviour was that bad,actually. They have to learn at some point that if they're badly behaved they're going to get shouted at.

You've already apologised, I'd leave it at that.

Its a rare parent who can say they haven't lost their cool at some point.

I think as you've apologised and acknowledged to them that your behavior wasn't acceptable I would leave it at that. That's an important lession for them anyway - that you can do something wrong, apologise and move on from it.

Totally agree with the other posters. The important thing is that you've acknowledged and apologised and your children have seen you do this. I've said some horrid things to the DC, particularly DS before - only this morning, in fact . But I apologised and said that what he'd done had made me cross, but that I had behaved badly too. He was very gracious, which made me feel the size of an ant...

You are beating yourself up over very little. Juicy I envy you, me and dd had a huge row yesterday, I apologised to her, she said she would never forgive me and is, in fact, still being off with me today.

Thankyou all so much for not tearing me to bits. I thought there'd be at least one call to SS I know that I just have to put it behind us now, and not keep apologising etc. I just feel like complete shit about it. Thanks for helping me put it into perspective.

Apologise, give hugs, leave it.