Christmas BLAH BLAH BLAH, Jan 2010 come on

[carocaro]

I just simply can't be arsed with it all this year. I have ZERO inclination for anything festive, nights out, whooping, shopping, spirit etc, it's just too much friggin effort.

I wish I could goto bed and wake up in January 2010.

I am under no pressure from family or friends for Christmas hoo haa. Just had a really tough few months with DH redundancy, we have £0 cash, I know you don't have to spend a lot on kids, but they literally have about a £10 each at the moment. DS1 is 7 and keeps asking when he should wrote his Xmas list, we have explained that money is tight and it will be a smallet Xmas, but he's 7 what does he know about it all. DS2 is 3 and not really with it.

I have tried getting a job, but with the market as it is, DS1 at preschool one day a week and DS2 at school and DH looking for jobs and going on interviews (he's away tonight at his sisters near London) I have been out of the work game for 6 years, it's well shite. There is not even a job in a pub or resraurant or shop - I have tried them all.

We have bills everywhere, we don't have to pay the mortgage for three months and we have cut everything to a bare minimum, even my car has been declared off road as the tax is up and MOT due.

Having to walk everywhere, like home today in the pissing rain DS1 fucked off as he's cold and tired and DS2 wet fucking through as he kicked off his rain cover.

Wr get £100 a week from the Government which just covers insurance, buildings, contents and life and car, mobile phone contract (off not using) the frigging internet goes off next week so bye bye everyone, as we are having no phone, just relying on DH's phone. Yes a family of 4 on £400 a month. And the tax credit people have siad we have been overpaid and can they have £345 back, I told the woman on the phone today to FUCK OFF as she refused to put anything in writing so we could see what she was on about, as I have no idea.

DH's old company owe him over £1,000 on expenses but are being wankers about it, oh and we have a solicitors bill of £1400 we can't pay which has resulted in hey guess what fuck all from the other side. A very ling story.

My hair is falling out, I can barely speak to anyone in the playground as I may sob in a heap. I am running out of reasons not to do things go to stuff. I hardly sleep well.

People say who needs money, it's only money - it will all work out in the end - at least you've got your health - money isn't everything etc etc etc

I know are trying to help but it doesnt.

My heart goes out to you all.

The working class in this country gets treated like shite, and gets fuck all.

Maybe if you and your Dh had never worked after the kids were born, stayed on benefits you would have been better off!!

I too am working class. Self employed. I try and help mums like yourself set up in business.

Claiming you are self employed has HUGE benefits! You just gotta know how to get them

What are you good at? What hobbies doe you have?

Stand your ground with the WTC. Tell them they can take it off you (if you owe any at all) at about £2.50 a week.

Don't pay solicitors any more. Use the CAB they are free. Or find a solicitors that offers free legal sessions. There is one by me in London that does this.

PLEASE get in touch with me and let me see if I can help in any way!! There has to be something that your good at.

I don't blame you for feeling lacking in festive spirit. DH narrowly escaped redundancy this time last year and it was pretty scary.

Would you let me send you a couple of little bits and pieces for the kid's stockings? Send me a message or email me on maria at biennial dot com.

Thanks you two. I was having a terrible, terrible day yesturday, I just needed to rant and be angry and sob, I sobbed last night, very cathartic and strangly it has lifted my mood today. I think I have held all my tensions/worry/anxiety in for so long I just had to let it out.

I decided to do some positive things today, once both DS's were at school and pre-school, I cleaned the oven; it's spotless, went to Tesco and had a really nice chat with an old lady in the queue about roast chicken and Grandchildren/Children. My Mum phoned and we talked about money and she said that we were not to worry about DS's and Xmas as she would help us out. I also went out for lunch with a good Mum friend from school, she said I looked pretty miserable over the last few days and thought I needed cheering up. She remembers how I bought her a lip gloss to cheer her up last year when you had a miscarriage. So there you have it, good karma!

DH has had two very good meetings/interviews and is on his way home.

Thanks for the lovely offer mazzystartled, very kind of you to offer, but I think we will be OK.

And kcartyparty - lovely offer too, I think I just need some confidence to go back to what I was doing before (PR and marketing) and not just any only job I can find. It's just it was not in the plan for me to go back to work yet as DS2 is only 2.5, so it was not on my radar and it was a bit of a scary realisation that I might have to step up to the plate ASAP. Do you have a website or an email address?

Thanks you two, for the support and offers, really means a lot.

I am so happy to hear you are feeling happier today. And I really hope your hubby gets the jobs.

It is so hard for the w class in this country.

My website is still in the process of being hosted and designed.

But you can always go freelance. You don't have to go into full time work. Just a couple of hours a week to start if you can!

PR and Marketing are not one of my finer parts. I have a great business and am bloody hopeless at promoting it!!

If you need to chat more you can Email me

[email protected]

Good luck with everything and please stay in touch