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Original poster

'How to be a good parent in a Bad Marriage' - Would this be a book title people would be interested in?

68 replies

londongurl · 03/11/2009 21:18

A friend of mine has just written a book with the above title. I will say more about it when the book actually goes into publication, but I was just wondering if that title is something that would grab people up front? Any feedback greatly appreciated

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 03/11/2009 21:45

Sorry, bad title IMO.

I think it would cut out a lot of the market - ideally you want as many people as possible to buy it, and by using this title you would cut out pretty much anyone hoping to save their marriage, as the title is basically like wearing a tshirt saying "my spouse is a shit".

"the main focus of the book really is where the marriage or relationship isn't working, and its been accepted mostly by both parties and they have decided to stay for the sake of the children. Not normally the way things work in the day and age I know.."
This sentence is a red flag for me - I agree - and I think aiming a book at such a niche market is a worry. Would it not be better to widen it to people trying to parent well while in difficult relationships, or while going through a separation, or after separation but still trying to maintain a good relationship?

Something like "Parenting across the divide" maybe?

Although your first post implies the book has already secured publication so apols if I am wide of the mark here.

daisyj · 03/11/2009 21:47

said - rofl.

Interesting re ebook. I've recently become a huge fan owing to the fact that I'm deep in a very long book that weighs a ton (but is featherlight on an e-reader ). The title still sounds like an admission of total defeat, though. And I do still wonder if it would confuse people in terms of the category it belongs to.

HerBoomWhizzBangitude · 03/11/2009 21:49

Unless he's done new research, it will be a rehash of all the other stuff.

Honestly, every time it gets wheeled out when people want to convince you of this and it has gone down in popular lore as truth. People very rarely bother to look behind the headline figures and actually analyse the data on this stuff.

I still don't know what the definition of "better" is, in this context.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
HerBoomWhizzBangitude · 03/11/2009 21:50

What about "parenting in a compromised relationship?"

A bit vaguer and less negative?

morningpaper · 03/11/2009 21:51

I'd imagine this will do very well, sounds like a brill idea

There are loads of books about Shit Men and they just get stuffed under mattresses

squeaver · 03/11/2009 21:51

Did he stay despite having an affair with someone else? [nosy] Because that will NOT go down well on here

shineoncrazyfirecracker · 03/11/2009 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
londongurl · 03/11/2009 21:55

Well, I think I am getting the impression the title isn't gonna hook people in. The contents are worth its weight in gold, but I am going to show him this thread (YIKES) before he gets any further down the track with it. I like 'for the sake of the children' but wonder if that's been done before. And yes, it's a niche market - not a book that will attract all parents, but then its not meant to - just the ones that have decided to give it a go against all odds.

OP posts:
said · 03/11/2009 21:56

You're going to show him this thread? Oops

theyoungvisiter · 03/11/2009 21:57

but MP, even the ones about shit men tend to have a slightly euphemistic title!

Also they are often (wild generalisation) bought by people who are not in live-in relationships.

There are not many books on Amazon about "when your husband is an arsehole but you have no intention of leaving him"

HerBoomWhizzBangitude · 03/11/2009 21:58

I would question the term "bad marriage" in this context. If two adults have decided that they want to stay together for the sake of their children even though they don't love each other any more and don't get on, if they manage to agree that they will stay together and accept that their marriage as was, is no more but will become sth different, and they will treat each other with respect and compromise with each other, then in a way, they've managed to come to some sort of modus vivendi haven't they, so perhaps it isn't a "bad" marriage as such? Just not the marriage that it was originally?

Original poster
londongurl · 03/11/2009 21:58

Definitely no affair squeaver.

OP posts:
hellsbelles · 03/11/2009 22:00

London - well - I think you are being a good friend. The title of an ebook is vital in my opinion. And if he looks at the titles of best selling ebooks he will find that 9/10 times they are positive upbeat titles...so if he goes ahead with his current one he really won't give it a fair chance.

Original poster
londongurl · 03/11/2009 22:02

to your last post HerBoomWhizzBangitude that is exactly the group the book will be aimed at, so.. yes not 'totally' a bad marriage, but its getting to be a bit of a long title 'How to be a good parent in a marriage that isn't bad but not all that it was originally' LOL.

OP posts:
HerBoomWhizzBangitude · 03/11/2009 22:03

Hmm, in that case I think it's the term "bad marriage" that's the killer.

It is so lacking in hope. No-one wants to believe their marriage is outright "bad", even if it is. They want to believe it has some positive points. "Bad" condemns it to a state where it can never develop and get better IMO, and that's why it seems to set up an oxymoron within the title.

Original poster
londongurl · 03/11/2009 22:05

Yes, I think you are right hellsbelles... the title is really important.. but with ebooks you create a sales page which details the contents of the book, so hopefully if he chooses to stick with the title (he may not now when I give him this feedback) that will still help it to sell.

OP posts:
said · 03/11/2009 22:06

'We still like each other and we love you' with a picture on the front cover pointing to a child (their child, obviously) Oh, it's quite hard to have snappy title isn't it?

squeaver · 03/11/2009 22:06

How to stay together when conventional wisdom, your own sub-conscious and all of Mumsnet tells you that you shouldn't....?

Original poster
londongurl · 03/11/2009 22:11

Not sure if you all know each other (first time here) (no kids) but you seem to have a great community here Like I said, I am not a parent so knowing about 'two parents being better than one' is not something I have ever thought about.. apologies if I have upset or offended any single mums...

OP posts:
shineoncrazyfirecracker · 03/11/2009 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hellsbelles · 03/11/2009 22:16

london - yes tis true! But you click through to the order page and the title has to be on that....and you wouldn't believe how many people change their mind at that stage (I have a geekish knowledge in this area! ) - so while sales page is indeed important he wouldn't want to ruin it at the final hurdle with a duff...non benefit led title.

Original poster
londongurl · 03/11/2009 22:20

would be interested in your geekish knowledge in this area hellsbelles! Ok, thanks shineoncrazyfirecracker

OP posts:
JodieO · 03/11/2009 22:23

I wouldn't be interested. I agree with what LGC said. Far better to get out and be a good parent on your own and show your dc's what real love and life is than live in a bad marriage imho.

morningpaper · 03/11/2009 22:24

What about 'How to be a good-enough parent in a good-enough Marriage'

morningpaper · 03/11/2009 22:24

what about "Good mum, shit dad"

didn't Gina Ford write something like that