Tips on being polite to in-laws but still telling them we're going to do things differently?

[Jane7]

Does anyone have any experience of having to explain to their in-laws that much as they value their advice on bedtime routines, weaning, when's a good age to start nursery etc they are going to do things differently.
How can I say this nicely, or is it best just to be grateful for the advice, but then not follow it

Just nod and smile and then carry on with your own plans. They will soon get the idea

Nod, smile, say 'mmmmmmmmmm' at appropriate intervals. It's marvellously non-committal and will leave them thinking you've taken in every word

"oh, that sounds good, I'll give that some thought". Then do what you were going to do anyway. You don't need to explain yourself to them. If asked, just say "we decided to do xyz".

brilliant - this is great. thank you.

But they will realise that you have not taken any notice of them in the end . MIL doesn't feel the need to come and help when I'm ill or in need, as its my own fault as I dont give formula that my 7 month old DS doesn't sleep through the night - sigh, I see them for DD and DSs sake but increasingly only allowing them to come at weekends and sending DH off to see them with DD and soon DS.

By ignoring their advice they well take it that you think the way they did it was wrong. Alot of women of our parents and in laws generation have a lot of guilt about not breastfeeding.

I find that making fun of yourself works as humor deflects the inherent criticsm of not accepting their advice. I say "Yes, yes, but you know that I'm an old hippy at heart, and I do my hippy things"

Let me just add that I don't look like a hippy AT ALL!