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Parenting

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Original poster

Star charts for bed wetting

16 replies

fraggletits · 27/10/2009 23:19

Just wondering if anyone has used star charts for helping to stop accidents in the night and was it successful?

Currently we are lifting DD (she's 4) out of bed while she's asleep at 10pm and putting her on the loo for a pee. It's not something we want to continue as if we forget then she wets the bed but we're stuck on what else to do.

She doesn't have drinks before bed.

Was thinking of drawing a 2 week star chart up with a small present at the end of the first week and a bigger present at the end of the second - and obviously she gets to stick the stars on in the morning if she's dry.

Any help or other advice greatly appreciated

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BoysAreLikeDogs · 27/10/2009 23:26

she has no control over weeing in her sleep, it's a hormonal thing see here

no point lifting her at night, you are merely reinforcing weeing whilst asleep; I dont think for one minute that she wakes up properly when you lift her

don't limit fluid intake - make sure that you stick to milk or water for her drinks. Brown or red drinks ie coke/ribena can irritate the bladder

She is v v young, realax about this if you can

Oh, double dress the bed - waterproof/sheet, waterproof/sheet to make those middle of the night bed changes easier

good luck

BoysAreLikeDogs · 27/10/2009 23:27

oh, i forgot:

wee/teeth/wee then bed

SquIDGEyeyeballs · 27/10/2009 23:32

It is entirely normal to not be dry at night at the age of 4. You can't reward her for being dry as it's something she has absolutely no control over, it is largely a physiological and developmental process that in many children happens between 3 and 6.

Lifting is to be avoided as it reinforces the wee whilst asleep message to the brain.

Don't limit drinks too much, maybe just to half an hour before bed. A child actually needs to drink plenty in the day to develop a strong toned bladder that can then hold more wee overnight.

Have a look at this thread over here and have a read of the link I posted at 1128

Hope that helps.

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mumeeee · 27/10/2009 23:37

It's normal for a 4 year old to still wet the bed. Star charts won't work as she won't have control over night time weting. Also lifting actually encourages a child to wee in thier sleep.

Original poster

fraggletits · 27/10/2009 23:42

That's really helpful thanks. We've only just started the lifting and know it's not ideal at all but had heard someone saying it's what they did.

She doesn't wake up, she's asleep - thankfully have only done a week or so of this so will stop.

That layering the bed is a good idea.

And then just treat her as normal - let her continue wetting and she will eventually stop?

Will read your attached threads.

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thisisyesterday · 27/10/2009 23:45

i would buy some pull-ups or bedwetter pants or whatever and just use those until she is ready to be dry at night. no point keep changing wet bedding

Original poster

fraggletits · 27/10/2009 23:49

MIL advised not to revert to bedtime pants (nappies) now that we've taken them off for whatever reasons. I don't know if that's right or not.

She's aware that she's wetting the bed and we don't make a single fuss about it but I just want to be sure I'm doing the right thing to help her.....

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thisisyesterday · 27/10/2009 23:52

well, she probably doesn't know she is doing it. a lot of children have no control over nighttimes at that age.
i personally would go back to nappies. there is no value in letting her wet the bed and having to change it... that won't teach her not to do it because she can't help it.

Original poster

fraggletits · 27/10/2009 23:59

thanks thisisyesterday that's where I'm at as well. Just read the link BoysarelikeDogs attached and in there it mentions star charts and nappies...

Think I'll get myself a pack of drynites tomorrow and have done with it - getting a bit tired of stripping and washing bedding.

We weren't forcing it or expecting it - she had a run of about 2 weeks of a dry bedtime nappy in the morning and that's when we went for it naturally assuming she was ready and then it's all gone the other way after that.

Thanks everyone anyway

OP posts:

LongtimeinBrussels · 28/10/2009 00:24

ds1 was dry at night at 3 and ds2 at 2½. When I had my dd who was really easy to train during he day (aged 2), everyone said "oh girls are usually dry at night as soon as they are dry in the day". Six years later and she was dry at night! I used pull-ups for that time and never made a fuss. As everyone else here has said, you can't train her to stop - she's asleep and it's a hormonal thing.

bumpybecky · 28/10/2009 17:03

I wish they were dry at night the same as in the day. It's been 9 years longer for us and counting......

LongtimeinBrussels · 29/10/2009 08:18

Sorry to hear that bumpybecky. It does start to get difficult with sleepovers and stuff, doesn't it? My dd just wouldn't go and everyone put it down to her being shy. I was lucky in the end. During the school summer holidays I put a mattress next to her bed (for me to sleep on) and regularly lifted her (set the alarm during the night!!). I gradually increased the times between the lifting and after some weeks of doing this she was dry. (I think actually that this was just coincidence because I really can't see how it worked!)

seeker · 29/10/2009 08:22

Lots of useful stuff here

GhoulsafraidofVirginiaWoolf · 29/10/2009 08:29

I lift DD also 4. H forgot when I was out and she wet the bed. I don't get cross when she does wet the bed (no saintly mother here, I scream at my kids about plenty of things ). I am not anti star charts either - I used them to good effect when she had some accidents because she couldn't be bothered to go to the loo because the telly was too interesting (told you I'm no perfect parent ). There was a conscious decision on her part and I ruled out UTI and decided that rewards would be good.

She wants to be dry and asked to wear pants not pull ups. Mostly she is OK but there are going to be accidents toileting is an ongoing learning process.

Either continue to lift (set an alarm if you find it hard to remember) or put her in pull ups. How does she feel about the whole thing. She is old enough to express an opinion maybe but not old enough to be totally dry all the time.

seeker · 29/10/2009 08:31

I really think if they are wetting the bed regularly they just aren't ready and they should have pull ups until they are dry on most mornings. They aren't ready til they are ready!

GhoulsafraidofVirginiaWoolf · 29/10/2009 08:34

True - I never pushed potty training to bemusement of my friends - because DD wasn't ready till "shock, gasp" 3 . Now she wants to be dry at night and her pull ups were often unused, but she is a good sleeper (bless 'er little wed bedsheet) so I think there is a bit of a battle between waking up enough and the physiological alert (no medical expert on this)

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