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Original poster

a question about manners.

9 replies

ilovetochat · 27/10/2009 14:37

dd is 2.3 and is quite good at saying please and thank you, if she asks for a drink or food she will always say can i have milk please etc and says thanks for food and says excuse me when she coughs/sneezes so i think she is doing ok.
BUT when my mom is with dd she constantly pesters dd to say please and refuses to do things until she says please and im not sure whether my mom is being ott or im being soft.
eg. dd will say nanny play with me and my mom says say please. nanny can i have the red crayon, mom says say please. etc etc. so my mom wants dd to say nanny play please, nanny can we crayon please, can i have red please and i think its not natural as i dont say please in every sentence, only when asking for something to be passed or asking for a drink.
what do you think.

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CybilWrites · 27/10/2009 14:40

Mums are a nightmare for this. Does your Mum say please after everything she says? Tell her she is being OTT

Original poster
ilovetochat · 27/10/2009 14:44

i was going to tell her last week and then i thought well is she right, can you say please too much?

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NellieTheEllie · 27/10/2009 14:46

I agree with you, it just isn't natural to say please/thank you in every sentence. Children can often ask for something in a lovely manner, without having to add please or thank you to the end.
"I would love to use that nice red crayon" is polite enough in my opinion (and I'm a stickler for manners )
I do think that people of a certain generation do get a bit obsessed with good manners. Would your mum take it ok if you just told her what you put in your op?

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Original poster
ilovetochat · 27/10/2009 15:05

i think she would think i was being soft on dd.
i think i will say something next time just so she softens up a bit.

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CybilWrites · 27/10/2009 15:09

It's one of the rites of passage of being a parent that you can't please everyone all the time, and you just have to do what YOU think is right.

Original poster
ilovetochat · 27/10/2009 15:12

thanks, my mom is great and i know she has dds best interests at heart but i want dd to speak freely iykwim.

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Takver · 27/10/2009 15:25

Does she make her say 'ta' too? Does my mum say 'ta'? No . . . but dd had to say it . . . however she is a doting grandmother so I forgive her, I think the 'please' and 'ta' come with the job description!

LoveBeingAMummy · 27/10/2009 15:28

I'd love to comment but my ears are still ringing from the 'discussion' with my parents last week when i was told I don't say please and thank you, (Dh and friends can't believe it when I told them as I defo do)

Some people just expect gushing in every sentence.

ps my dd can't say please so says ta for that too

Original poster
ilovetochat · 27/10/2009 15:30

she used to say ta , dd has decided to call he nan nanna now and i can see my mom wincing

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