He says he loves me but he doesn't like me.
Hmmmm.
DH is a perfectionist and won't do anything he isn't good at. DD is a creative, bubbly, loud and very artsy and clever child. We went to watch her football session this afternoon. She is not that interested in football but we live in Kuwait so there isn't much for kids to do. Anyway, DD was dawdling and not paying much attention to the game. DH was so annoyed and said he'd never go to watch her play football again.
This is typical of DH - to just walk away and not make any effort (although he does read with her every day and has done since she was a baby). I was furious with him and said so. I unkindly said that he could easily go outside sometimes and coach her and kick a ball around, help her and just DO stuff with her and that to just walk away was lazy. His answer is always to just walk away, pour several drinks (refuse the dinner I've made) and sit in the back yard staring at the sky. Drives me mad!
Anyway, I tried to talk about it with him this evening and he basically told me that he just doesn't like me anymore.
I do loads of stuff with the kids on our compound. I volunteer everywhere, I run a kids mosaic club and organise parties and functions all the time. He still thinks I'm a crap mum though (and has told me so several times). I think he judges motherhood on how often I wash the sheets rather than what I actually offer as a much-loved and involved mother.
There is actually a lot of love between us at times. He's just sooooo.... sooo.... he's such a perfectionist and he doesn't realise that our wonderfully creative daughter is actually something very special. I talk to the mums at the school gate all the time so I know how the other kids are doing. DH freaks if DD can't spell "people" on her weekly spelling test. She has just turned 7.
He just expects too much. And then he wonders why I don't get all enthusiastic about sex! Geez! That's the last thing on my mind with such a grumpy git of a DH.
Can you love someone but just not like them at times?