I'm worried my baby's not normal and I'm sick of staying at home!

[cinnamonbun]

I know that there have been a lot of threads about how difficult parenting can be but I really am so fed-up. I have a DD aged 4 months and ever since she was about a month old she's been very demanding in the way that she gets bored very, very easily. Some days she'll scream/cry more or less the whole day. I know it's not colic, it's just not that kind of cry. I'll put her on the playmat, she'll be ok for a couple of minutes then start crying. I'll put her in the swing chair, cuddle her and the same thing happens and so on. For some reason her behaviour seems to get worse when both my DH and I are at home, not sure why. I sometimes feel almost embarrassed when meeting up with other mums as their babies seem so calm and happy and mine has to be entertained all the time. The only thing she seems to like is being outside but I can't be out all day!

The other problem is her sleeping, or rather the lack of it. For the last 6 weeks or so she hasn't been sleeping well at all. Instead of waking up every 3 hours like she used to, she wakes up on average about every hour and a half. She won't go back to sleep after about 6am. Some days (like today) she only slept for about 20 min during the day and after I put her to bed at 7pm (it's usually 8 but I needed a break from her) she woke up 2 or three times in an hour.

I'm so tired all the time and find myself counting the hours until DH gets home from work, then counting the hours until her bedtime. I feel almost resentful for not being able to get things done, like researching something on the internet or doing housework. Needless to say I feel guilty about this, the fact that I'm just not enjoying motherhood. TBH I'm counting the days until I'm going back to work (part-time) and although I initially planned to go back in early April next year, I'd like to return in January already. I'm telling myself she'd be better off at a nursery, she'd probably be more stimulated. Is this terrible? I'm so disappointed with myself, this was supposed to be the best time of my life but I'm becoming more and more unhappy and taking it out on DH, it's already taken its toll on our relationship. He isn't too worried about DD's behaviour (he's really laid-back) but I can't help thinking that other babies are not like her.

I'm sorry this is so long, I just had to vent as all these worries and feelings of resentment and then guilt have been building up lately and I don't know what to do. If you've had a baby like this, please tell me it gets better?

Ilove, you're right, being bf doesn't rule out cows milk protien intolerance, cows milk protien does pass into breastmilk, and some babies do react to it, my DD2 did, as did your DS. But, cows milk protien intolerance and lactose intolerance are very different, a baby that is lactose intolerant would be very underweight and failing to thrive by the age of 4 months, as human breastmilk contains a lot of lactose. Cutting dairy out of the maternal diet makes no difference to a lactose intolerant baby, (unless it is secondary lactose intolerance caused by intestinal damage done by cows milk protien) going dairy free only helps if the baby is cows milk protien intolerant.

Fair point.

Even my HV gets the two confused!!

Just wanted to say that DH and I managed to get her to take naps regularly throughout the day yesterday and OMG she was like another baby!! I actually enjoyed spending time with her again, it was great! I'm still going to take her to a cranial osteopath as it might help with feeding but just wanted to say thanks again for all your suggestions!

Glad to hear you sounding more positive and hopefully this will rub off on your little one and she will be more settled. Keep smiling, sounds like you are a great mum and because of that things will get better. xx

Cinnamonbunn Yes, naps are the key!
I eventually got DS to sleep in cot at around 9/10 months (I think). He wouldn't sleep in pram, was as you describe, hours of walking then a 15 min sleep. A dog barking would wake him!
He would sleep in the car but there's only so much driving you can do without your petrol costing the earth.
Yes, you do need a prescription for omeprazole. Run it by the Doc and at least rule it out.
Something I learned from book was, a baby needs to nap 2 hours after they have woken up. If she is up at 7, settle her at 9 for a 1 hour nap then again at 12ish. One they are over tired and over stimulated it's a loosing battle.
Oh god, what have I done, it's all coming back to me!!

I could have written your post, I remember sobbing to my DH when ds was 4 months because I only ever seemed to get around 15 minutes after a feed when he was happy, then half an hour sleep, and then misery until the next feed. All my friends had babies who would drift off contentedly in the bouncer or in their arms - ds would scream for 20 minutes before eventually crashing out. I used to avoid going anywhere public because of the hassle and stress of trying to calm him when I felt like he was bothering everyone else.
He could have had a medical problem - and I certainly wouldn't want to say that your dd doesn't - but like you I didn't think he was in pain. My family all used to think he was bored (or teething - constantly) and try and amuse him to stop him from crying, but after reading various books I was pretty convinced that he was getting overtired and finding it difficult to switch off. I never really cracked it - he just got to 6 months and suddenly stopped needing as much sleep- but I did find that once I knew he couldn't go any longer than 1.5 - 2hrs between naps without getting cranky I could pick up on his tired signals and give him some chill out time before his naps which did seem to help. He still would never sleep for longer than 40 minutes but at least I managed to avoid most of the overtired meltdowns. I also read that some babies just do need to cry as their way of winding down so rather than try to rock him, pat him, shushh to sleep etc (none of which seemed to work) I just held him until he was calm.
Just keep going, 4 months is still very little and you really should start reaching a turning point soon.

As daisyj said, I also found with my 2, they also needed a sleep aprox an hour and a half or so after waking up.
Im now a child minder, Ive found this with the LO I look after also, so it wasnt just mine ..

I just wanted to say i found 4 - 7 months the toughest. Was a shock as always think the beginning is hardest etc etc. DS1 now 10 months and what a joy. Wish you all the best (still have mini melt downs every now and then just so you know!)