What are your top tips for getting through the 'Death Hour'?

[MaMight]

However organised I get, I still always seem to spend the last hour of the day tripping over my children in the kitchen as ds clings to my thighs wailing, me snarling through gritted teeth that "daddy will be home soon", and eventually yelling at dd that "No she can't have a bloody yogurt now".

As far as possible I cook supper while they're napping.

They get enough sleep and have busy days.

I try and involve them in setting the table.

I try and set them up playing a fun game or watching a dvd just so I can have 20 minutes to do last minute things.

It's hell. They are just at their most whingy and demanding when my patience is at its lowest ebb.

I hate ending every lovely day on such a horrid note. I guess they are tired and hungry, but they are supposed to be, it's time for supper and bed.

How do you do it?

hell o'clock round our gaff.

The 16 month old will sit on the work surface will i do stuff. The 3 year old will watch cbeebies and the baby screams. It's been worse and hopefully will be better.

6pm is too late for an 18 month old to have his tea imo. My dd is 20 months and she gets tea at 5pm, bath around 6pm and bed for 7pm.

Playdough and crayons/paper are your friends. Put your ds into a high chair at the table so he can play and watch you whilst you tidy/cook.

Also put cbeebies on. You can sky+ their favourite programmes like I do.

Also buy cbeebies magazines and get your ds to put stickers on the fridge/kitchen door etc.

Get your dc's to 'help', give them a bowl of soapy water and some spoons and tell them to wash the spoons for you. get them to help you load the washing machine etc.

I second (third? fourth?) the long bath idea.

Are you/they at home in the day? On the days I don't work I sometimes give dd2 (2) a hot lunch. If I am being organised I also make a sandwich type packed tea to give her at 5pm ish)

I do often cook twice, but this is far less work than it sounds. Firstly I cook very simple, healthy foods. So for example tonight the dds had pasta with broccoli, pesto and soft cheese)

Dh is home at a reasonable hour generally so I start off bathtime with him then I am down for around 6.45pm. I pour a glass of wine, then cook for us whilst he finishes them off. If it is suitable, I save a couple of portions for dc's dinners another night.

A friend of mine used to give her dcs (small age gap) a fruit starter in front of a dvd. I thought it was a fab idea, her sister used to rofl at the thought of the los nibbling at melon whilst mummy finished cooking the tea!

we call it the arsenic hour lol

I am with you trinity!

You don't know whether to give it or take it!

I hide in the loo and MN for a few mins in between tea, undressing, teeth brushing and bathtime. It allows me to compose myself for round 2.

It's called the Arsnic Hour here.

Best way to deal with it - ring Grandma

6pm is too late IMO for their ages. My DD was going to bed at that time (half 6 anyway) when she was under 3 and we had tea at 4.30! It doesn't last forever, she can wait until 6 now but only since she turned 5. IMO if they're whiny it's because it's too late

It's loooonnnnggg bath time in this house. DD helps run it and gets herself undressed and helps undress DS (that's 10 mins), then it's at least 20 mins for DS with another 10 mins on top for DD (so that's another 30 mins - up to 40 mins now), downstairs for cbeebies/nickjr/disney and pyjamas on ready (another 10 mins - now at 50 mins), if all is well, for DD to walk in at 5:50 to quiet household.

I have got this down to a fine art now and it is a lifesaver for all concerned .

Is 6pm really too late? Oh dear. They get up before 6am as it is. They do nap in the daytime, but if they go to bed any earlier they wake up earlier. Last night ds was in bed asleep by 7.30 and he was up this morning at 5.15.

I some times think that the problem is that young children do not run on a 24 hour cycle. I can't do the maths though.

Vegetables starter is a good idea. In fact I used to do that, on the suggestion of another MNer last year some time. A bowl of chopped veg on the table to nibble while I do the last few things for supper.

I do cook earlier in the day as much as poss. I think a slow cooker would be good though.

Another issue - my kitchen is too small to have children in it. It's a glorified cupboard really.

Not sure I understand how a bath would work - then I'd have to be upstairs with them and no one would be downstairs boiling the pasta / clearing the paintings off the table / filling the water cups / picking the playdoh off the highchair etc etc etc.

I get as organised as I can, but there just have to be last minute jobs.

If you give them tea earlier it doesn't mean you have to put them to bed earlier, it just means that they are in a better mood for the hour or so after.

Yesterday in order to make it to parents' evening I had to give my DCs tea at 4:30pm which is an hour earlier than usual, but they both ate brilliantly and DD (4.5) was in the best mood after that all the way up to bedtime! I'm seriously considering doing it every day now.

I suggest...

bringing tea earlier , you can go back to family mealtimes when they are older or at the weekends. At 18m my dc's were eating between 4.30 and 5 ish. By 6pm it was def up the stairs for a bath time. Then in bed by 6.45pm. They did(still do) wake early but that is just the way my dc's are. I prefer early to bed and put up with early mornings.

Forget about tidying up the afternoons mess at this time(do it when they're in bed) and getting running kit ready during this time. After you've washed the kit leave it all packed in a bag till you need it. I do this with ballet stuff and football stuff.

You need to reorganise your day so that your children have a bath (which will calm them down) earlier, and eat earlier. They shouldn't be so tired/hungry that they are this difficult - you have to get organised such that it doesn't happen.

I agree with the others. Give them simpler food earlier, and veg to nibble on while they wait.

There's a father in the Guardian today complaining that he doesn't like eating spice-free food at 5pm, I didn't like it either but it suits small children. And as they get bigger then you can start eating a bit later, and have more interesting food.

Ouch Anna

Often once little children are bathed and in pyjamas and have had supper, they get all nice and cuddly again and will sit on the sofa and watch a DVD in peace - they don't necessarily need to go straight to bed, it depends on the child. They just need that bathing/eating thing to relax.

Agree

There is no way mine would wait til 6pm for their supper,They would get tired, ratty and a pain in the neck.... (sound familiar!)
DS1 is ravenous when he gets in from school and I cook their meal as soon as we get in, they eat at 4.30 - 5ish, they might have a piece of toast later beofre bed if they want.
After their meal they have half an hour of TV and then a bath at about 6ish, but which time DH is usually back to help with getting them out the bath, milk, pyjamas etc.
They are all in bed by 7.30pm and then I cook for me and DH - it is a pain to cook twice but while they are small (youngest is 10 months) I can't see any other way if I want to keep my sanity.
IMO I think eating together can wait til they are older.
We just stick to meals together at the weekends.
HTH

Aren't children who eat at 4pm or 5pm starving by morning?

Or do they snack again before bed?

FWIW DS1 was on an "English" schedule as a baby/toddler... and was up at 5.30am every day.

We gradually put him to bed at 8/8.30ish and the mornings got more manageable.

Lol at Anna and bathing to relax them. Bathtime turns mine into hyper-monsters until I throw them into their beds. I think its the bit where they've got all their clothes off and they run around screaming in their batman capes towels that does it.

Here I feed them as early as I can get organised (5ish). Once they're fed they tend to play happily for half an hour to an hour, and then the telly goes on till bathtime.

(they are 22mo, 4.5, and 7)

Although, if the little one is really bad while I'm cooking, I pay the eldest one to play with him. I pay her pennies, she hasn't worked out that she is being had yet .

Haventslept - mine have milk at 7:30 when they go to bed. They sleep ok till 7am ish and we have breakfast pretty fast!