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Parenting

Weekend squabbles (and that's just dh & I ...)

6 replies

Mo2 · 24/05/2003 20:11

Have just had a crap day during which DH & I just couldn't seem to stop getting at each other. When we did finally get around to talking sensibly to each other it turns out that we seem to be squabbling about how we handle weekends with 2 kids.
We both work full time, so at the weekend I like us to spend time together as a family. DH however says he's sick of never managing 'to get anything done' because by the time we get baby/ toddler + 2 adults sorted it's usually lunchtime anyway.
In the past I've got fed up 'cos it feels as if DH manages to do some of the stuff he wants, but I end up running around after kids and making lunch/ tea etc.
He's now suggesting that we 'divide and conquer' at least one day at weekends by each taking one of the kids to either go and do something for them (e.g. soft play, swimming) or something else like shopping/ car wash etc.
We also seem to get to the weekend without having much planned, so subsequently end up arguing about what to do first thing on Saturday.
(Of course, bank Holidays make this even worse!)

Really interested to know how you all arrange your weekends...?

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Lindy · 24/05/2003 20:57

Not sure if it helps you much but I am of the 'divide and conquer' regime - as a SAHM I look forward to the weekend to get to do my own thing, but that means DH needs to be in charge of DS which fortunately he loves - so for example this morning I was off at 8.30am to help at a Church Jumble Sale (sad but this is the sort of thing I love!!) - DH took DS out to watch a local football match and have lunch on the beach, this afternoon DS slept, DH gardened & I pottered about - this evening DH has gone out with some friends whilst I stay in. Tomorrow, I'll entertain DS whilst DH goes out cycling - Monday we have planned a family day out ........ I know it sounds awful, but I actually prefer to do 'my own thing' when I get the chance and actually find 'family days' a bit of a bore (sometimes!).

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Mo2 · 24/05/2003 21:06

Thanks Lindy
I think we managed better when we just had DS1 because the other person really got time to themselves. It's since DS2 came along that there's been a massive difference. I think it's because neither of us is particularly keen to volunteer to take both of them - there's a limit to the sorts of things you can do with a baby and a toddler, so as a result neither of us get any 'me' time without at least one child. I feel that it would be better if we had some 'routine' for say Saturdays such as swimming/ supermarket/ park, and then alternated the different bits?

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jac34 · 24/05/2003 21:21

We tend to have family time on the weekends, but do have "Me" time when we want it.Last Sunday I had a very pleasent lunch with fellow Mumsneters, and this Sunday DH is going into town to watch the football(Cardiff City V QPR, in Millenium Stadium).
We have noticed though, that when we are stuck in the house(rained today), our boys seem to behave better when they each have one to one attention.
Today, DH played for sometime on the computer, with one of our DS's, while I did jigsaw puzzles with the other on the dinning room table.
They really love it, one fell asleep in DH's arms, while the other kept whispering in my ear, "Mummy I love you".
We tend to split up when going around shops as well, we find they behave better when each is, on their own ( their 4.5yo twins).

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Lindy · 24/05/2003 21:27

Mo2 - that's why I'm sticking with only one!! Sorry, not very helpful I know!! I do sympathise, it must be very difficult, especially as you both work full time, I know I have it very easy with just one child and not working - although I am slightly irritated this evening when DH announced he was going out at 8pm ....... he then said, why don't we get a babysitter? We are lucky with sitters usually but I don't think there are many people you can phone up on a sat night to come round immediately! Anyway, I am having a nice time on my second bottle of wine with mumsnet friends ........ plenty of drunken ramblings ...!!

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janh · 24/05/2003 21:52

Mo2, just in case you can persuade your DH to actually go out and do things together, check out www.primarytimes.net for your county, it has what's on, days out, special events etc - you can ask for specific dates.

Lots on at the weekend during the summer as a rule!

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mmm · 25/05/2003 09:49

mo2 - I think I know a bit how you feel. I'm a sahm and the dd's are 1 and 8 so have both different needs - ie rests to fit in and everybody seems to want some me time or some time with one or other of the parents exclusively. And I end up doing all the catering and can't wait for the weekends to finish I should have called myself Selfish Beast ! Sorry, I've just added a moan instead of anything constructive.

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