DS (just 5) had cried himself to sleep because he hates his curly hair. How can I help him?

[mazzystartled]

DS is 5 and has just started in reception.

He has very curly, almost corkscrew like curls. It's cut fairly short but it's still very striking. Old ladies can't stop themselves touching it/commenting on it, and DS has become increasingly self-conscious about it.

Tonight as I was putting him to bed he started crying and saying he hated his hair, he didn't like curls, he was the odd one out in his class, and he wanted to change it.

Well there aren't many options on the changing it - when it's shorter its even more curly, when it's longer it loses some curl but he starts to resemble Sideshow Bob.

How can I help him deal with his (actually rather beautiful) difference? I tried various gambits, (it makes you look like daddy, lots of footballers and rock stars have curly hair and its really cool, it's not what you look like that matters - it's what you are like as a person) none really consoled him.

He's adamant that he hasn't been teased or bullied about it btw.

My youngest son is very very blonde, and with curly hair. This summer when I took him to the hairdresser, I let HIM chose how short it should be, and he directed the hairdresser, "shorter", "shorter" until it was very short. The hairdresser then gave him a fiery red-orange hairgel, and made his "fringe" stand straight up. He looked SO cool. No other kid could look that cool. He has not complained about his curly hair since.

I don't mind short (but it still curls when there's any length at all), but not shorn. It's not mega long as it is. and tbh if it was short/shaved short he'd be just as much the odd one out at school

send him to a rougher school

My ds had lovely curls and hated them till he was old enough to have it just one cut above skinhead where it still is and he is 40 next bday!

Oh, I hope he is ok tomorrow. I feel sad thinking about him crying himself to sleep!

You;r e not up for short hair but he's miserable about it and that won't let you give him a choice?

Mabe show him some pictures of icons or pop stars with curly hair.
Jimi Hendrix, That bloke Jamie from the x factor, Scary spice. There must be more.

He won't know who they are but if he knows that lots of famous people have curly hair he might feel better.

What a shame that our little one's go through this. My sister has fabulous auburn wavy hair but she straightens it and dyes it blonde and as a result looks like every other girl in town.

i am really worried that dd will go through the 'I want blonde hair' phase. Her hair is a lovely light brown colour. I am a hypocrit as I dye my hair blonde but may want to change to set a good example.

Well maybe it was a one off. Woke up happy and hasn't mentioned it since.

I don't blame him for not wanting strange elderly ladies telling them they are going to steal a curl, and I really wish people had the sense not to say ooh what lovely hair the moment they clap eyes on him.

But pointy, no, I am not going to shave his head because he really would look awful. And I think its as much a mother's responsibility to not let him go out looking bloody awful as anything else. And I'd rather he accepted it, and realised how little it matters, than think he should change himself to be more ordinary (not like it's mega extraordinary).

and LOL mp

twinkly, don't worry I stayed with him, didn't leave him sobbing into his pillow , but thanks