Dinner wars - how do others cope?

[FlopemOut]

Mealtimes in our household have recently turned into a complete and utter battle and I'm really struggling to keep my sanity.

We've got a DS (2.5) and a new DD who is just 6 weeks. I'm sure as a result of this new arrival, my son has transformed from a really well behaved (at mealtimes anyway) boy who would eat everything on his plate, feed himself, sit in a big chair, etc to the boy that won't eat more than a couple of mouthfuls, and only if spoon fed.

I'm really struggling to find a strategy to cope with his behaviour, other than shouting at him, which obviously doesn't work. I'm so tired I can't think straight. I feel like I'm using up my only spare time to get a nutritious dinner prepared (DD is a breastfeeding monster) and then when he doesn't eat it I feel so upset!

Anyone found a way to survive the dinner wars? I'd love to hear your suggestions on how to get through this phase.

Ignoring and not isiting they eat worked for us. He wont starve so just say 'if you don't want it ok but there will be nothing else until breakfast'.
As long as you stick to your word and don't give in to snacks afterwards then he'll soon get eating.

Yeah, I wondered about that. To be honest I would worry that he would wake up in the middle of the night hungry. I guess it is worth a try. How old is/are your DC?

Ignoring it worked for us, but so did spoon feeding a bit. Our DD was 3.6 when DS arrived and she wanted to be babied a bit and have some of the attention. We never talked to her about it jsut fed her a bit then left it for her to feed the rest to herself or not, depending on what mood she was in.

If he does wake up in the night hungry don;t make a big deal of it, just give him some warm milk. I personally would feed later if he wanted it before bed but make no big fuss just give a sandwhich or whatever he wants.

OK, so it seems like there's pretty much a consensus on the 'ignoring it' strategy - so I shall definitely give it a whirl. Fingers crossed.

This thread is great for dinner time tactics www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=behaviour_development&threadid=812985-Can-you-lot-help-me-with-a-new-st rategy-for.

Munky - thanks for the link to the other thread. I'm so tired I didn't start with the obvious!

FlopeOut,
Agree with the ignoring tactics, hard though it is. Also sometimes my dd when aged 2 or 3 would be so tired at teatime she'd have a complete tantrum and refuse to eat. We used to let her have a yoghurt (her usual pudding) just to get something in to her - and this often placated her enough/gave her some energy to then eat her main meal. I think I read somewhere in Penelope Leach that it doesn't really matter what order they eat their food, and it did seem to help us with the teatime tantrums.

If you are worried about hunger in the night oftne small dinner and small supper - so he gets two chances to fill up.