Shall I quit work to have a second child?

[josie271280]

Hi all,

Just looking for some general advice.....

I have a 10 month old daughter, and work 3 mornings a week as a teaching assistant. Although, I pretty much work to pay for her to attend nursery, so am seriously considering giving in my notice to look after her myself, full-time (whilst doing other bits and and pieces to earn money - eBay being one of them!). However, as I want to have 2 children, I wondered if it would be best to start planning for this now and get it 'out of the way' so that I can return to work in some capacity within, say, the next 3 years. My husband works hard at his job and does lots of overtime but I worry that financially things wont be great, but then I think if I wait a few years and hold off having another baby, we will be in this position for even longer.

Does anyone else have or have had this problem? I get the feeling some people feel I dont want to work which isnt true; I just dont like the idea of working just to pay someone else to look after my child when I can do it myself. Plus, I'm sure there is something I can do to bring in money whilst being with my child and possibly whilst being pregnant with my second child.

Any advice would be gladly welcomed!

Hi there when my ds was 1 i concieved dd- i decided to give up work as i had 2 under 2 years of age - just ! I decided to embrace the whole stay at home thing and gave up my car as we could not afford to run it.I have a problem when peolpe say they cant afford not to work but then have a big posh car etc etc-thats an ok choice but why not say i want to keep my lifestyle not pretend!! rant! sorry! but that was my choice to cut my cloth- i didnt want to pay someone else to look after my children whilst i was out a work raising the cash to pay that person.Others love formal work rather than being at home work and its important to them its just that its not that important to me.I was lucky but it did mean we lived in samller house etc and i do appriciate some people dont have that choice genuinely.
Anyway - i gave up and had 5 years at home - this meant I waited till toddler got nursery vouchers for am childcare but just did couple sessions a week and then when ds went to school i could have total time with dd and then she went to nursery at 3 and i also got a bit time for me - i found the time very liberating - tiring but liberating !an d personally would recommend it .I think you have to ask yourself how you feel about work - if it defines you as a person,would you miss the routine etc.You can build routines in with little ones of course but it not same as wk .Also what facilities does your town ,village city have - would you have support networks? To raise money i trained as childminder and looked after neigbours child 2 days a week as she keen to go to work.I am a social worker and i found the time a very special time which i have never regreted esp now as im now back in the hectic work life!!!!good luck with your decision whatever you decide! x

ps when ds - youngest in school i went back to work part time around school dayhours .Holidays howeve remian nightmare to organize!!! Id recommed seeing if you can have a formalised "career break" if your organization does them via HR and then you wd have good chance of getting back to school enviroment and have the hols with your children...

PPS dont let anyone who has a feeling that you dont want to work put you off ..(you have every right to look after your children if you want to !!! )It is hard work and a highly valuable job to bring up children with good values etc -its a really important role and its not "NOT WORKING " !!! I cross if this has been implied to you !!! ignore em !!!I m really not trying to sway you either way - its just that motherhood can be de valued by comment like that and they need to be ignoredIMO.

SORRY RANT !!! JUST TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE .!!!

Hi,

I'm in a similar position. I work as a nurse. I have one boy who goes to nursery while I work 3 shifts a week. But I think if I have to pay for 2 kids, its pretty much not going to be worth working. I'd miss my job as I really enjoy it but I'm not sure I can convince myself that paying to work is a good thing. I just wonder if I'll get too nuts staying at home all the time. Its really hard to decide.

I think it sounds like you are wanting to leave work, and if so and if you are ready then why not go for it. At the risk of sounding cliched.... it really has nothing to do with anyone elses opinion but yours. There is no medal for working hard for the sake of it! And lets face it you'll never get this time back again with little people around. So I say enjoy it and you can always go back to working if you get in a pickle. :)

Be. x

I really wish I could afford to do this but DH is a student at the moment. Role on graduation! . Being a mum is the most rewarding/ hardwork I've ever done. (sorry if that sounds naff)

You could hang in at work until you're pg and then you should be entitled to maternity allowance for 9m when the baby arrives, or stay on longer and get statutory maternity pay for 9m?
It might be worth just carrying on that bit longer so you have a bit of breathing space money wise after the new one arrives and before you're ready to get stuck back into your money making schemes

Personally I would wait until DC2 comes along and save that maternity pay. If you can cope without it you will know the finances work and have a little bit of money for emergencies.