Struggling with parenting - not surprised after what my mother told me today.

[suiledonn]

I am finding parenting very difficult. I find it hard to say 'no' and hate seeing my children upset in any way even if it is for their own good.

I was having a chat with my mother on the phone today and just a general moan about my dd's awful bedtime/sleeping habits - a topic I usually avoid because she disagrees with co-sleeping and me breastfeeding 10 month old dd in the night. I am struggling at the moment though and was looking for a little support.

She told me I have to toughen up - just stop feeding the baby at night, put her in her own room and let her cry it out and that she would learn after a few nights.

As an example she said when I was 2 (I had 2 younger siblings before I was 24 months old, they aren't twins!) and the new baby came home I started playing up and was wetting the bed on purpose so one night she smacked me and put me back in the wet bed and I never did it again.

I have tears in my eyes all day for the 2 year old me.

[blueshoes]

You are not alone, rachy. I must be odd too.

I am far more business-like now that I have 2 dcs, than when it was just dd when it was all attachment parenting.

I still co-sleep with ds 3 though - it is when we re-connect. But during the day, I rarely pander to tantrums nowadays. Ds is still in love with me.

[neenz]

DSs are always in love with their mummies .

I was when I read the OP, but really your 2yo self probably wasn't that bothered - you probably just crept over and slept on the side that wasn't wet.

You do need to be able to say no to your DCs tho and letting them cry it out a bit (going in to reassure etc) will help with the sleeping.

I stopped feeding my DTs in the night at 8mo - they cried for a bit for a couple of nights but then slept through.

[neenz]

How old is DD? What bedtime routine do you have atm? What does she do in the night?

Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green is a good no-nonsense book with a good chapter on sleep.

Be strong and consistent, the children have to know and want to know that you are the parent and you are in charge.

Don't get too down on yourself. You are doing great