Mums of four?

[Gillian76]

I'm looking for some advice from any mums of 4 (or more!)

We have 3 children DD1 aged 5 DD2 will be 4 in Sept and DS 2 next month. After DS I thought I was finished but more and more am thinking, "well, maybe..."

I found it OK going from 1 to 2 children but quite difficult from 2 to 3. I am worried I'd find it difficult to cope with 4. How do you find life with 4 children?

DD1 will be starting school in August, DD2's at nursery in the mornings. Was thinking about planning for Aug or Sept next year when DS will start nursery too.

Am I mad???

We have 4 & have found the biggest problems were the car (had many years of squeezing 6 people into a normal car due to lack of money) & the hotel thing- a "family" room is for 2 & 2 and family tickets are 2+2. We also only have 3 bedrooms & for a long time had 3 boys sharing a room which was far from ideal when their sleeping patterns were so different.

The hardest thing now they are older is that we had 1 doing A levels and 1 doing GCSEs last year- which was very stressful- & realised that will be the case for many years to come, as they are each 2 years apart. We will also have 2 at uni at the same time for about 3 years (aaarrrrggghhh!!!!)

DD went to uni last September & we have found it very hard to adjust to being a family of 5 without her.

Also all the "family" deals we couldn't afford when they were little only apply to kids under 12, & our youngest is 13... It's not fair!!!!

As for paying adult prices, I don't think you should have to pay adult prices for them until they are out working.

It's so unfair and lots of things are just too expensive to do. Yes i know we chose to have children but with the amount of profit these companies make couldn't they give families a break.

I think we have gone past the hotel room thing even with 3.

The biggest thing for me is "going back" to the baby stage as DS will be 2 in a couple of weeks and sleeps very well! I am torn between doing it now to get it "over with" or hanging on a year or so til DD2 is at school and DS at nursery.

Ho hum! DH would have 20, btw!

You are not mad! Go for it. I have 5 (all planned) ages 8,7,5,3 and 7 months (and a miscarriage between the 3 year old and our new baby). Sure its messy and crazy at times but it is also fun, and life is full. Going from one to two was very hard but easy after that. The new baby is such a joy, I look at her and think how lucky can one woman get. My best friend lives by a motto that she wants to go out of this world worn and well lived screaming "Ooh baby what a ride!" rather than a well preserved corpse. As I am leaving this life, I won't remember a messy house, too much laundry, and bickering children, but I will have a happy smile on my face, with my children around me and I will be thinking "ooh baby what a ride!" I hope you go for it.

Hi,

I have 4, aged 4, 2 and dts 2 mnths. The hardest things are the guilt at not being able to spend so much time with the eldest two - tho I think with singles it wouldn't have been so bad. It is also bloody expensive, tho I have started saving ds's clthes for the twins now. Plus I accept all offers of hand-me-downs! The car had to be changed, to one that just gobbles the gas, and then we had to get a new buggy to fit in the new car. We have to do lots of cheap days out now. A big car is absolutely essential, as getting four kids on public transport is difficult.

I don't get a lot of time for myself, except for when I am studying and having driving lessons. I do get regularly stressed out and run down, but dp is good and lets me have a break when I need it. I really couldn't do it all wihtout his support. We can't go out together at all yet, which I really miss. It has felt like we have lost a lot of freedom.

However, my house is very clean, and tidy. The older two are well trained, and so is dp. The laundry is not a prob neither, as long as I keep on top of it. If I leave it for more than a day or two it becomes impossible, as we all live in a 2 bed flat and I wouldn't be able to get it dry. I can't see how meals would make a lot of difference if it's home cooked food, it's just slightly larger amounts. I can imagine it would be expensive for convinience food tho.

I love havign them, and could prob have more if it wasn't for the expense and that I hate pg.

Hi Gillian. I have ds 12, dd1 5, dd2 2, and dd3 6months. I planned to stop at 3! I also find always having an untidy house difficult and the laundry overwhelms me (even with an au pair and a cleaner . But, they are all so fascinating and I love having so many. The hotel thing is a pain, and we always go on villa holidays (so we can make as much noise as we want, even at 6 in the morning!).
I think for you, with a longer gap it is a bit easier to begin with, but the closer in age they are, the more likely they will play together as they get older. I personally found it harder to be pregnant and have 3 children than to have 4 ( I hate being pg and get sick). Now my youngest is 6 months, I am really enjoying them and watching all their relationships with each other. My eldest does get left to do his own thing a bit more perhaps than he should, but he adores his 3 little sisters. Oh, go for it!

hi!
Yes I am mad..I am a mum of 5!!!!!
I love every minute of it,but do occasionally dispair of the never ending round of tidying up!
I had 3 quite close together alwayswanted more but my then husband said no..we were not getting on!! I remarried and had 2 more..is that it...who knows!!!
mine are 14,12,10,2.5 and 8 months. Each one is a little(or big) miracle I love them!!!!

Mandy - I think I know you! Othewise it's just a huge coincidence!

where do you know me from?
I live in yorkshire does that help?

Message withdrawn

i feel the same rickman, it isn't just you!

oh I know. it isnt sunshine and roses all the way! but I try to remain calm---my kids wont agree!!! I shout alot but kaugh alot too. I have the terrible teens to deal with at one end and the terrible twos at the other believe me the 2 year old is much easier!!!! go for it..what have u to loose? sanity..gone figure..gone disposible income...gone so what difference will one more make!
As for not spending enough time with each so what they get alot out of each other and you will be there for them when they need you..they make sure of that. best go more washing to put on!!!

thats laugh not kaugh!!!

Nope - s'not you then. Just someone else also living your life in Surrey!!! Same aged children, married again - everything!

She seems pretty happy with her lot though!

Message withdrawn

wow another me out there!!!!

We went from 2 straight to 4!!! And yeah it's a nightmare, but life is what you make it...

we sound v similar rickman!

Message withdrawn

well i dunno about that cos i ahve never seen you, but you write a lot how i feel

Message withdrawn