Bi-lingual: I just cannot do it !

[SophiePloeg]

Hi
I am Dutch, and have been living in the UK for 10 years. I've got 2 kids (2 and 4) and find myself totally emmersed in English life. So much so, I don't speak Dutch anymore, except to my Dutch family or when in Holland. At home it feels strange to speak Dutch when the whole world around me is English. Hence my children are raised English, although I'd really like them to learn Dutch. I just cannot turn the switch all the time! It is hard to talk dutch to my kids and English to the rest of the world, thereby switching constantly.
Does anyone else have this problem?
My husband is English and he doesn't speak Dutch either.
Would love to hear I am not the only one, or get some advice on how to find this famous switch...:0

Move to holland, I know that would be a great solution. I often tease DH with it. But packing up and moving house and country is no mean thing. Not least of all because of work - I wouldn't want my husband to commute back to the UK all the time! I am hoping for more holidays in The Netherlands, perhaps that will help too.
Thanks Belgo! I am going to keep on trying.....

I have the same problem trying to bring up a bilingual French dd in England. I am English but both French dh and I try and speak French to her at home. The trouble is, DH always speaks to me in English, even though he speaks to dd in French. Then gets irritated with me!

DD is now sitting on my lap, watching CBeebies, which has underlined the importance of French TV. Can anyone tell me how I can find a satellite which will get French TV as well as English? (Although much French TV is also rubbish, imo)

We have lots od French dvds, but there is a limit to the number of times I can watch Merlin or Les Aristochats.

Hi Sophie, it's tough with those Dutchies isn't it? They switch to English so quickly that it is really easy not to speak any Dutch, even in Holland.
I've got two DD's (3 & 1) and DD1 understands Dutch fluently & is getting the concept that there is a mama and a papa language. She mostly speaks english, but will translate words (but not full sentences) to Dutch if asked. I try and be consistent and speak Dutch to her, but do slip into english a lot of the time.
My top tips to keep it going: spend as much time in Holland as you can (leave DH at home if needed); get some groovy Dutch music (we LOVE VOF de Kunst's (Muziek op schoot) & schedule regular calls/skype with friends & family. I think the thing is to stop worrying and do as much as you comfortably can and it'll all click into place.

Oricella, thanks for your comment. Again, the support is great and its great to not feel alone in this. We actually have 2 cd's of VOF de Kunst and I love it, but my kids were not interested last time I played it...LOL. Olleke-bolleke still does the trick though ,even though my eldest is now nearly 5!
I know...perhaps leave DH at home and go to Holland for a week or so. I have silly excuses to stop me (if I fly I won't have a car to move around, and it will cost so much, bla bla) but really why not, I should just try.
Nice to hear from another 'dutchie'.

Racingsnake, thanks to you too. We love the Aristocats here (I try to play it in Dutch as often as I can). I am also trying to find satelite systems for Dutch tv. I think you just need a dish, a decoder box and point it at the french stuff. Another dish (or a rotating one) for the English stuff (like for freesat). Aks a satelite specialist; they'll know.

sophie (sophieploeg.com)

Sophie, if you find a good system advice for Dutch stuff, please post for the rest of us. I keep asking my local satellite suppliers, who say they'll do some research and get back to me, then don't.
What about pre-Christmas trip to Holland? Do they/you have great markets at this time like in Germany? You could stock up on dvds etc. Incidentally, most of the French dvds I get at great expense on amazon or ebay also have dutch as well as english.

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Hi Sophie, just got back from 3 weeks in the Netherlands and I've been so impressed with DD1 who from day 1 actively started to speak Dutch this time. I've always known she understood me, but being there (without DP in the first week) really clicked things into place.

Hope you make it out there soon.. and do leave DH behind, that way there'll be no excuses

Good luck

I'm a bit late to this one, but I completely understand your problem. My ex is Dutch & he was so immersed in English life that he couldn't get himself to speak to DS in Dutch. As a result, DS (now 12) only speaks English. I tried to learn Dutch myself but had the problem of everyone switching to English whenever we visited Holland. I wasn't confident enough to attempt Dutch whenever my ex was around but always tried to use it (& still do) whenever we were in Holland & he wasn't around. My ex is now living in Holland again & DS has a Dutch half-brother, so I'd still love him to learn Dutch, but it's sooooo much harder now. He really wants to learn too. I wish I'd forced his dad when he was a baby. So, I'd say you HAVE to make yourself do it, no matter how strange it feels to you now.

Hi Sophie,

I've only just been reading this thread which started over a year ago, but if you're around the Marlow (Buckinghamshire) area, I'm running 2 Dutch Clubs every fortnight on Saturday mornings, at the moment for 2-4 year olds and 5-8 year olds if you're interested. The main reason is to reinforce the Dutch language spoken at home, whilst at the same time having fun with other Dutch speaking children. For more info have a look at my website www.discoverdutch.co.uk