To parents of two or more children...

[m1nky]

Wondering if any of you can help me out with some homework I've got to do for my new course I've started.

I've been asked to talk to as many different parents with two or more children and ask them whether they noticed differences between their children during their first few days of life.

If you did, what differences did you notice? (this may be behaviour or anything you can think of) And have these differences remained?

If you can answer this for me I will be ever so grateful!

Thanks

the only big difference I can remember is feeding. DD1 would feed for hours at a time whereas when I had DS1 he would be all finished in 10 minutes.
DD2 was really easy I'm ashamed to say I can't remember much, i think i was too tired.
DS2 is hard to compare as he went straight to a specialist unit and so I didn't see much of him for the first few days.

Not really. Delivery was different but they were very similar in temperament etc for the first few weeks. Very different from each other now though!

I have 2 and I noticed differences immediately. My dd looked more like her dad whereas ds looked more like me, I had been expecting a female version of my ds when dd was born for some reason! They were different in behaviour aswell. Ds didn't feed very well and as a consequence was very sleepy, he continued to be a good sleeper but dd fed well from the word go but was never a very good sleeper until we had to resort to cc at 11 mths. They were different in build aswell, dd was longer. As older babies ds was always on the go (still is!) but dd is more laid back and will quite happily sit and play with toys.

DS1 was late, thin and anxious-looking, appalled at life, very twitchy and hard to settle. Hard to feed. Didn't sleep much. He's autistic btw.

DS2 was large, plump and placid. Very easy birth. Latched on with a satisfied sigh before they'd cut the cord! Still loves his food, but is now a skinny streak, and 'placid' wouldn't be the right description.

DD arrived looking as if she'd seen it all before. Ate lots. Slept lots. Used to be known in the family as the Snoozy Floosy.

DS1 cried a lot, never still, needed constant attention, hungry all the time.

DS2 was so much the complete opposite and so settled DW thought there was something wrong with him. Just popped his thumb in his mouth and was happy from day 1.

Those things have stayed with both boys even now age 9 and 7.

DS was smaller at birth but somehow DD seemed tiny in comparison to how i remembered him.

DD cried ALL night long whereas DS was absolutly perfect and only cried when he was dirty or due a feed every 4 hours precisely...you could almost set your watch by him.

Yes...ds1 stayed in his little cot on the ward for approx 8 hours over the 5 days I was in he hated it!
Ds2 was fine with his over same period of time.

Ds1 was EMCS AND ds2 an elective so no idea if that would have a bearing on it??
Good luck with your course

I was gobsmacked how different they were, and it started the moment DD2 arrived!

Physically, DD1 was long and skinny with the most beautiful eyes I had every seen. DD2 was built like a rugby player, with really butch shoulders and rather strange, flat ears. They looked nothing like each other. (By 6-12 months they were much more similar, though)

DD1 was angry - DD2 was very chilled out. And I don't think it was just because I was more relaxed. DD1 was very "alert" (i.e. she never slept) - DD2 slept like a "proper" newborn and I discovered that it is, indeed, possibly to rest while they sleep. DD1 never stopped moving - kicking and wriggling. DD2 just let the world go by.

To some extent, the differences have remained. They are physically unalike, although their voices are almost indistinguishable. DD1 is still more physically active. But DD2 is no longer always chilled out - she can be quite intense and is a bit of a comedian.

Well they all looked completely different - I still can't get over the fact that I have blonde, black and brown-haired children with blue, hazel and brown eyes respectively!

But they all did nothing but sleep until they reached their due dates (2wks, 6wks and 7wks later). Then the differences became apparent.

I guess ds2 was the easiest to get off tube-feeding and onto bf'ing, and is still the best eater now.

As to what is related to birth experiences - ds2's birth was the most dramatically horrendous and he is my calmest. Dd's birth was by far the easiest and she was the stressiest baby.

DS was very alert as soon as he was born, didn't sleep for hours, just looked around. For the next few days he fed little & often, hardly ever cried, just watched everything.

DD cried a lot more and a lot more loudly. She fed less frequently but for longer each time. She slept a lot in the first few weeks and was rarely awake (but when awake she was often very loud!).

DS is 3 now and still likes to watch people/things before joining in. DD is nearly one so too soon so say for sure, but she is still very loud.

Ds1 was born after a long medicated labour using forceps (after the ventouse didn't work - popped off and nearly catapulted the ob across the room!) He was very sleepy and didn't feed well for ages. Had lots of ENT infections in his first year which were finally cured by cranial osteopathy. In hindsight I was very anxious about becoming a mother which I think may have contributed to his stressful birth.

Ds2 was born after a drug free 8 hour water labour and upright birth. He latched on perfectly straight away (and has barely let go since ) He has barely been ill and is much more chilled and easy compared to ds1, who is a complicated little enigma!

Other than looks (no trouble telling baby photos apart in this house) one baby fell asleep while feeding, the other had to have a little grizzle before falling asleep for many months.

Of course they are ever so different now but I can't see any link.

My DS1 was 5.8lb, DD was 8.12lb and DS2 was 7.4lb so there was the obvious difference in sizes.

DS1 was in SCBU so I can't compare him to the other two. DD was a lot more alert than DS2, she has never napped even in the early days.

dd cried when hungry,wet,etc text book baby.
ds1 cried all the time!hard work
ds2 never cried and had to be woken to feed and the nurses had to keep waking him through feed-

DD1 was calm and relaxed from the second she was born. She ate and slept, and pooed, but rarely cried.

DD2 screamed non stop (for about 8 months) and only slept in my arms.

DS had loads of dark hair (girls were bald)!
He/we had difficulties with bf from the very start, but other than that, another contented baby.

DD2 was a crash cs, dd1 text book vb, ds ventouse vbac. Not sure if that was a contributing factor.

DD1 (10) is still mre relaxed, although she is very sensitive.

DD2 (9) is high mainenance, and always will be. She is easily reduced to tears, and the most tactile and loving girl I have ever met.

DS is 3, and so far is very much like a three yr old boy/bulldozer. He lost all his dark hair though.

Dd (older of 2) was very unsettled and cried a lot in 1st week (in fact for about first 6 months). Then for about the next 11 years she has been a piece of cake, ony getting more tricky since starting secondary school a year ago.

Ds, very very mellow straight away. Remained as such til 2.5, then became a lot more difficult (a very bad year til 3.5). Even now, although so so much esier than he was, is not as straight forward as dd was and is far more sensitive in all ways.

Hi
DS1 was alert, quiet, calm and looking around a lot as soon as he was born. His was a distressed, assisted birth.
DD1 was less alert but calm. Her's was a 'normal', no hassle birth.
DD2 was alert, but very jumpy and oversensitive to noise. Her's was a distressed birth.

All had skin-skin contact after birth, and I cuddled all 3 a lot.

DS1 was the quietest baby. Turns out he has Aspergers.

DS1 was very difficult to calm down, needed LOTS of attention, very sucky, and is still exactly the same (although he sucks his thumb now when a bit frazzled, not me!)

DD - screamed as soon as she was born, until she was next to me, then calmed down, very easy baby, but clingy to me. Still also similar

DS2 - screamed blue murder when born, wouldn't stop until he'd wee'd on his Dad, then I swear blind he smiled! very noisy to get attention, and was and still is an absolute clown!