ExDH asking for more access

[racylaisy]

When we split, ex went to court and was granted access every other weekend and a Tuesday afternoon for 3 hours (he requested 50:50)

He has always wanted more access, and has recently says he wants to go to court to ask for Tuesday overnight. I think this is too much and dispuptive to the children. Is the court likely to grant him this access? (children are 14 and 10)

agree with mrsjammi - as always very good points!

DSS's mum is exactly like the OP. The problem is though, her controlling manner has resulted in very submissive children who are unable/unwilling to question her, so when she says what they can or can't do with regard to DH, they don't utter a word

If your ex has PR, he is an equal parent, whether he's the resident or non-resident parent. Often courts suggest alternating weekends and mid-week contact for starters when you separate, but hope as adults and caring parents you then work together to come up with something that's in the best interests of the children. When a subsequent court order is applied for, they (with cafcass) analyse the situation in much greater detail, because court orders are seen as last resorts, after the parents have failed to agree and mediation (which is expected before a court order is processed) has also been tried and failed.

Shared contact to include mid-week contact just needs to be managed (it's hard work) but for the kids' sake, who didn't choose to live in a 'split up' family, it's well worth the effort, even if you have to 'manage' it all (like I do). Personally, I would love to be with my kids 7 days and 7 nights. But unfortunately I can't as my kids' equal parents live in different houses.

Seriously if you love your kids, let them see their dad as a 'full father' and listen to what they need. Make sacrifices (i.e. emotional and effort to manage contact) for them, so they don't end up with psychological issues related to being denied proper fair and equal contact with their dad (if that's what they want and need) and their dad's role as father being degraded and controlled.