bicker, bicker, bicker.........how do you cope?

[perdu]

My dcs (aged 9-13) ALL bicker ALL the time.

The eldest talks to her younger siblings in a tone of voice that says "idiot", her reasoning is that the younger ones don't speak nicely to her.

I have tried to reason with her and explain that she is older and should know better and that the younger ones don't mean to ask (according to eldest) questions or make comments in a way that she is not happy with.

In short - they are all driving me mad!!!!!!!!!

I have tried to talk to them all about it, I have balled and shouted at them too....no better.

any tips?

Leave them to it.

Get on with something else. Leave the room. Let them sort it out themselves.

It helps them to develop essential people skills.

When mine come to report each other I tell them to sort it out themselves. Unfortunately, this often means one of them gets a thump

Unless I'm having a bad day, in which case I'll yell "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ARGUING!!!"

thanks

I do want to keep well away from it.

But it just seems to be a constant way of life now. There is a divide in the house and eldest won't spend any time with the 'little ones' and tries to ally herself with me....(not working).

Seems such a shame they can't ever get on?

they really are horrible, I especially hate:

"no wonder you have no friends"

any other experiences??

The atmosphere in our house is terrible.

Kids started bickering on the way home from school and I tried to breeze through it, not getting upset but they come to us with their problems. I see that I have two options at this stage:

1. ignore them and keep calm - but they just continue being really nasty to each other

1. wade in and try and stop them

Either way I find stressful as I have to listen to either them being nasty or me being grumpy....

??

Hecates- are you me?
That's what I do.
Sometimes I even leave the house for a while.
I am thinking of building a shed.

so is it ok for the eldest to be permanently rude to her siblings?