dry nights

[Nixz]

My dd is 4 1/2 years old, she is clever, has loads of friends, infact totally normal in every way - but she (up to last night anyway) wears pull ups or PJ pants at night. I tried her a year ago with out them for about 4 months and was up changing the bed 2 or 3 times a night, everynight. She has excema and along with the sleeples nights and her sore skin from all the 'wee' it turned into a complete nightmare for all of us. So i left her for another 12 months but i want to try her again as she is becoming a little self conscious about it now and has had some frinds stay for tea recently,a bath together etc and they are asking why she is still wearing nappies. Her understanding of things and speech is incredibly advanced but potty training her was hard work and took about 12 months and this is also proving to be difficult. So today, new week new start. Together we have decided to do it again. I have put a sticker chart in her room and told her that for every dry night she gets a sticker and that sticker means a friend can come for tea. Shes very pleased about this but now i think she may get upset at the end of the week when she has no stickers. What shall i do? Is it toomuch pressure on her? And why cant she grasp the dry at night thing?

My ds will be 5 in september and is not dry either. Did try for a week and he manages three dry nights and then no more. I think this is a thing that can only happen when they are ready, he wants to sleep over at a friends but is also embarrased about not being dry. No advice but you are not on your own.

thanks Katemum, i think i will try again this week and see how we go.

wouldnt worry too much!

about 1 in 5, 5 year olds arnt dry at night (1 in 10 10 year olds as well!)

im sure she REALLY wants to be dry, but its not worth sleepless nights and sore skin over...

if she doeanst want to wear a pull up you could try using bed mats so she doesnt feel so self concouse...

to save time at night why not do:

waterproof sheet
cotton sheet
bed mat
cotton sheet

(i find bed mats wriggle out of place so you change the under sheet anyway... buy putting on top as well you at least have a dry sheet underneath as well when other is whipped off!

If she is having 2 + accidents a night add another mat / sheet layer...

or else in est in a few of those sheets that are water proof with a terry backing, and just put a few on the matteress, so you just take the wet one off!

you are right.... it may be disheartening if she gets no stickers...

Maybe a freind for tea is not the right reward?...

Generally rewards are effective if they ONLY get them for doing what it is to get a sticker....

therefor if freinds come for tea any way (as they will surely?, you wont go for weeks with no friends will you) then it makes a mockery of your sticker chart.
It might also be seen as a 'punishment' if no friends are coming, and what you really want is a reward!

perhaps you could have 1 friend a week and an 'extra' friend for a drynight? or choose a different prize

(you could by a lego / polly pocket / tea set or what ever toy, and get one element of it for each dry night, so after several dry nights you have a new toy)

She sounds like a bright child... if she is physically capable im sure she will be dry soon...

but you may have to accept that she is one of the (VERY) many children who develope this skill later, and either accept 'nappies' or find an easy way to cope with accidents for all of your sakes!

Good luck!

Thanks for that advice - yes we do have friends over, infact i have about 6 or 7 children in my garden most of the time!!!!!! (aaahhh!) - my aim was to have a few dry nights so we could have a little party instead. She gets a smiley sticker on her chart and on her jumper for a dry night and a try again sticker for a wet night etc - but its night 3 tonight and weve already got 2 smiley stickers!yay! If it doesnt work after a month or 2, we'll just try again later on in the year, im so proud of the 2 dry nights though, ive actually woke her up at 7.30am both mornings to kiss her and dance around her room!!!! Im under no pressure really, well maybe a little, but i hope i havent passed that on to her.

BTW, am really ahocked at the stats you posted, i didnt realise it was so common for children of her age. I think we sometimes tend to underestimate the amount of stuff these poor kids have to learn!!!!

They can't be dry at night by willpower alone, unfortunately, Nixz. She wants to be dry but between hormones (natural ones which slow down kidney function at night - some children are late producing them and go on producing urine at the daytime rate all night) and sleep patterns (some children sleep so heavily they don't recognise the signs of a full bladder) some children just can't do it however much they want to.

Probably worth keeping records for your information, of daytime activities/drinks/bedtime etc, to see if there is any kind of pattern, but if a child isn't even close to nighttime dryness a sticker chart can be very depressing.

Have you tried "bladder training"? Where you encourage her to drink more than usual during the day and practise holding on for as long as possible before going to the loo? That helps some children if they are in the habit of small frequent wees during the day.

Oh, hadn't seen that you've had 2 dry nights already - that's fantastic and suggests that she is well on her way - good luck!

good news - the happy stickers worked well, we forgot all about the 'try again' or 'sad' stickers and just had a cuddle if she had an acident - however..... tonight is the 8th night and weve had 2 accidents and they were 'out of the ordinary days' (late b b q's at families etc.) I think we may have cracked it this time woohoo!