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Parenting

sharing with siblings

6 replies

crazydays · 19/05/2003 21:26

we are just starting out with this very flaky situation there is 3years between our 1st 2 childen and know they are nearly 5 and 2 the eldest toys are very much more appealing to the younger, now wouldnt life be bliss if we could live life peacefully and share between us all or if this does happen please advise me on your method, they all have a room to themselves and toys are split between them age accordingly but the eldest dosnt want the 2 year old touching anything, do we persist and persuade him to ahve an "open room" or resect his feelings and stop our oj from playing with his toys, im thinking of the future here 3 boys i really cant stand 3 copies of most things or is this what you do? can this be a sign of feeling of jealousy or rivalry as he has had 2 brothers in 15 months? oh the joys of parenthood!!

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judetheobscure · 19/05/2003 21:32

I have a very "open" policy with mine. They all have to share, that includes the younger ones. How about getting your 2 year old some attractive "older " toys so the 5 year old wants to play with them, freeing up his toys for the 2 year old?

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cos · 20/05/2003 12:57

i think its ok to have non-sharing toys, ie my 3 year old cant play with tracey island belonging to 5 yr old as its pretty fragile. it shows tham they cant always have what they want

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kazzi · 20/05/2003 16:12

I encourge mine to share but if they don't want to thats fine to .Put yourself in their position we all have things that we love and we don't want to share with others and if someone forced us to share it it would make us miserable and turn against the other preson/sibling. read the (she wants what her sister has thread) there is a really good book to read on there.

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crazydays · 20/05/2003 21:22

thankyou for your advice, its good to get different opinions the thing is we agree with you all !!!!! eldest gets pocket money therefore toys are more frequently coming into the house i guess

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nmd · 21/05/2003 10:18

And I would definitely recommend reading Siblings Without Rivalry as suggested to me a couple of weeks ago, it's got some brilliant ideas both about getting to the root of the problem and practical suggestions on making things work. Good luck, mine are definitely starting to improve!!

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kmg1 · 21/05/2003 18:18

I think this is more likely with a wider age gap. My two are just 22 months apart, and there is hardly any concept of 'mine' or 'his', just 'ours'. At birthdays and Christmas they do get individual toys, but it all very rapidly becomes 'ours' ... They share a small bedroom (with no toys in), and then have a huge bedroom with all their toys in, which they also share. ..
I can't remember an instance in the last 2 years of them not being happy to share (they are 4 and nearly 6) ... In many respects they are NOT angels, so this thread has been a real boost to me that they are good in some areas ..!

Thanks for reminding me about that book nmd, I do keep intending to get hold of it. My two have different talents/aptitudes, and I think will be more jealous of one another in that way when they grow older.

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